Dry Cleaner Wins Missing Pants Case

Every now and then, the legal system manages to get it right and avoid embarrassment. I seriously hope the judge who filed the suit gets disbarred, and banned from practicing.

He should also be ordered not only to pay the defendants' attorney fees, but also a compensation amount for distress caused.

************************************************************************
By LUBNA TAKRURI, Associated Press Writer
Mon Jun 25, 11:00 PM ET

WASHINGTON - No pair of pants is worth $54 million. A judge rejected a lawsuit Monday that sought that amount by taking a dry cleaner's promise of "Satisfaction Guaranteed" to its most litigious extreme.

Roy L. Pearson became a worldwide symbol of legal abuse by seeking jackpot justice from a simple complaint — that a neighborhood dry cleaners lost the pants from a suit and tried to give him a pair that were not his.

His claim, reduced from $67 million, was based on a strict interpretation of the city's consumer protection law — which imposes fines of $1,500 per violation — as well as damages for inconvenience, mental anguish and attorney's fees for representing himself.

But District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled that the owners of Custom Cleaners did not violate the consumer protection law by failing to live up to Pearson's expectations of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign once displayed in the store.

"A reasonable consumer would not interpret 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer's unreasonable demands," the judge wrote.

Bartnoff wrote that Pearson, an administrative law judge, also failed to prove that the pants the dry cleaner tried to return were not the pants he took in.

Bartnoff ordered Pearson to pay clerical court costs of about $1,000 to defendants Soo Chung, Jin Nam Chung and Ki Y. Chung. A motion to recover the Chungs' tens of thousands of dollars in attorney fees will be considered later.

"Judge Bartnoff has spoken loudly in suggesting that, while consumers should be protected, abusive lawsuits like this will not be tolerated," the Chungs' attorney, Chris Manning, said in a statement. "Judge Bartnoff has chosen common sense and reasonableness over irrationality and unbridled venom."

Speaking to reporters outside their dry cleaners, the Chungs said they held no hard feelings toward Pearson. "If he wants to continue using our services, then, yes, he is welcome," Soo Chung, a Korean immigrant, said through a translator.

Pearson, who came to court during the two-day trial earlier this month carrying the jacket he said went with the missing pants, did not respond to a call and an e-mail seeking comment.

The case began in 2005 when Pearson became a judge and brought several suits for alterations to Custom Cleaners in Washington. A pair of pants from one suit was missing when he requested it two days later.

Pearson asked the cleaners for the full price of the suit: more than $1,000.

But a week later, the Chungs said the pants had been found and refused to pay. Pearson said those were not his pants and decided to sue.

Over the course of the litigation, the Chungs said they made three settlement offers — $3,000, then $4,600, then $12,000 — all rejected.

The case garnered international attention and renewed calls for litigation reform.

"This case was giving American justice a black eye around the world, and it was all the more upsetting because it was a judge and lawyer who was bringing the suit," said Paul Rothstein, a Georgetown University law professor.

Rothstein said Monday's ruling "restores one's confidence in the legal system."

Calls have come from around the world for Pearson to lose his position on the bench and be disbarred. The city's chief administrative law judge is still considering Pearson's 10-year reappointment.

Some Of Football's Dumbest Quotes

Took this off The Sun Online, and thought it was really farny...

"I couldn't settle in Italy — it was like living in a foreign country."

Ian Rush reveals the reason behind his failed spell at Juventus.

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."

Former Aston Villa playmaker Mark Draper points out where Ian Rush went wrong.

"The important thing was we got the three points."

Silverware clearly means nothing to Chelsea's Wayne Bridge following their Carling Cup final win against Arsenal. What is more worrying is that at no point on the way to the game did he ask anyone why they were playing at the Millennium Stadium that day.

"I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing."

Ade Akinbiyi struggles with the concept of live football.

"Germany are a very difficult team to play — they had 11 internationals out there today."

Northern Ireland midfielder Steve Lomas explains why Germany outplayed them

"I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football."

Les Ferdinand always uses that saying, just never heeds it.

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought."

Bobby Robson after England nearly lost to Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup.

"I never make predictions and I never will."

Paul Gascoigne gets it instantly wrong

"If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again."

Terry Venables states the bleedin' obvious

"This could be a repeat of the final."

Kevin Keegan before England's group stage game against Holland at Euro 96

"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none."

Who else but Keegan?

"They're the second-best team in the world and there's no higher praise than that."

The man famous for his perm continues to struggle.

"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley — unless somebody knocks us out."

Dave Bassett gets his head around the concept of a knockout system.

"What I said to them at half-time would be unprintable on the radio."

Ex-Spurs boss Gerry Francis

"It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up."

Ian Wright shows his admiration after Tony Adams reveals his drinking problem.

"Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa."

Keegan makes yet another appearance.

"It's not as good as Adams' challenge, but it's on a par."

Ron Atkinson does his level best to muck this one up.

Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

I love these 2 new postcards from Postsecrets. I always wondered at how life is one big game of waiting for the next thing to happen.

As a kid, my parents told me to wait until I grew up before making my own decisions. Now at 28, they clearly would still love to keep telling me that, if not for how I remind them that doing so makes them look positively ridiculous.

I also learnt that waiting for exams to end is an exercise in futility. There is always one more to prepare for. My failure to grad not withstanding, everyone around me at 30 or even 40 are still going for the Phd.s, their CFAs, and what-nots.

Then I was waiting to finish my NS obligations, only to be faced with a further 14 years of reservist duty. I started waiting for a girlfriend, and after that comes the wait to get married. Then I spend the rest of my life waiting for kids, so that I can wait for them to repeat my own life cycle of waiting.

I wait for the perfect job to appear in my life, where I can find delight in what I'm doing, and to excel in the tasks. Each job I take supposedly takes me one step closer, but it soon became clear that such satisfaction is a privilege that's denied to almost all save for an exceptional few. So I end up waiting for retirement instead.

The sad thing is, my parents are supposedly retired. But they're still working.

I also spend an obscene amount of time waiting for my regrets to turn around, for that moment when my past failures are redeemed, and I keep on waiting, despite knowing how futile the attempt is…

Even in church, we wait for the congregation to get serious about God. We wait for people to rise up and serve. We wait for the lost sheep to return. We wait for the sermons to get better, the worship to help us touch God, the ministries to nurture and revive us. We wait for revival. We wait for personal revival and breakthrough. We even wait for Christ to come again.

Hahaha…

Makes me think of a song by Colin Hay that I heard in Scrubs, called “Waiting For My Real Life To Begin”.

Waiting For My Real Life To Begin
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past
Your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

On a clear day I can see
See a very long way

-Colin Hay

So my question for the day to all of you… what are YOU waiting for? Cos as for me, I think I don't know what I'm waiting for anymore. Its just become a way of life. 11 years after doing Samuel Beckett in St. Andrews JC, I've now officially joined the club of those Waiting For Godot.

Honestly Speaking...

My Ego Problem

One of the conversation topics between a man and a woman that inevitably crops up now and then, is talk abt the male ego. Between us males there is no need for such talk, since we all understand the need to properly dignify and treat with sacred regard this aspect of us that is more highly prized than say, our virginity.

Hehz...

But the WOMEN, on the other hand, seem to love to hold it in contempt, and force us to defend that which we will die for. (We mainly die trying to deny that we HAVE one.) As it is, we are forced to dissect it, scrutinize it, and place it under critical analysis, in order to explain to the female species just what is the mystery of the male ego. In short, we are forced to de-sacrelize what we regard to be as sacrosanct as the soccer club we support, in order for the ladies to disregard everything we've said, and carry on living in their own world where egos are granted the equivalent status of pencil shavings.

As I was reflecting on the ego-bashing movement that is always in-fashion with the ladies, I wondered to myself what could be the cause of such blatant hate. After all, our egos are the equivalent of a girl’s emotions, aren’t they? To get at a guy, the girl would attack his ego, knowing that’s where it hurts most, even when compared to a well-directed boot that found its target dead centre right below the belt. And to get back at a girl, a guy knows he has but to hurt her feelings (“God, you’re really fat/ugly/bitchy/short/flat/dull… etc.”).

Personally, I think I like my ego. It’s what keeps me from turning into a bigger slob, since the mental picture of my being on a bus with a much better looking guy sitting next to me keeps me grooming myself feverishly. My ego’s also what keeps my mood up, giving me something to delight in when I go one-up over someone who was supposed to better than me (The marginal utility is doubled when I’m able to do a one-up over a guy, instead of a girl).

So ladies, get off our backs abt our egos. Without our egos, and your emotional capriciousness, this world would be a lot less colorful, and relationships would be so dull that I’d rather read the obituaries.

Now *THIS* Is A Harry Potter Fan...

When Tragedy Strikes

Sometimes when tragedy strikes, it takes a lot of faith to believe that there could have been anything good that comes out of it.

... "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

- Mark 9:24

Mercy Saw Me

Self-righteous or not, I guess the reminder is that we're all made righteous by God.

Learnt this really really beautiful song when I attended Easter Sunday at Covenant Evangelical Free Church.



Mercy Saw Me
by Calvin Hunt

The years had left scars
The scars had left pain
How could He recognize me
I wasn't the same
I knew I should pay
And I knew the price
For justice and law
Demanded my life
But His tender heart heard
My desperate cry
And He saw my past
Through merciful eyes

Beautiful
That's how mercy saw me.
For I was broken and so lost
Mercy looked past all my faults
The justice of God saw what I had done
But mercy saw me through the Son
Not what I was
But what I could be
That's how mercy saw me

Whatever you've done
You can't go too far
That His eyes of mercy
Can't see where you are
He loves you too much
To leave you alone
You're flesh of His flesh
And bone of His bone.

And His heart cries out
For your heart today
See yourself through His eyes
And then you can say

Sin had stolen my dignity
And all my self-esteem,
But I was made brand new again
When mercy looked at me

Beautiful
That's how Jesus saw me...

MANCHESTER UNITED 7 – 1 ROMA

Just when I thought the dream was dead and buried, God once again reminded me of His grace… His kindness and His mercy… and reminded me that He’s a Man Utd fan…

Hehz…

The poetry of Man Utd’s game… tearing apart Roma’s defence at will, and the sort of goals that were scored, each one an absolute gem in itself… for all the hooliganism before the match began, United again reminded us of why this is called the beautiful game.

The perfect blend of experience and youth, that reminds us of past glories and gives us hope of future greatness… the strength of character to believe in themselves and come back spectacularly after so many have written them off… The hunger to win that is the mark of a champion… United had it all.

I woke up cringing at the thought of checking the scores, and I found myself checking the results on three different websites just to confirm that it wasn’t a cruelly distasteful and belated April Fools’ joke. Disbelief gave way to incredulity, which gave way to elation, which gave way to a joy that gave me a lift for the rest of the day…. To after that catch the goals that were scored on Youtube (bless the person who uploaded the clip…), only confirmed the class that this new generation of Man Utd players possess…

The future is bright indeed!!!

The Reds are marching on!!!!!!!!!!

Self-Righteousness

"Am I self-righteous? Why not? Its not like I can count on you to be righteous for me".
- Henry Rollins


I read this and it really cracked me up.

Too often I've been accused of being impossible to argue with, and many have therefore turned into a person who doesn't bother to engage in talking with me, but is only interested in telling me what's wrong with myself. Given some time, these people degenerate into telling OTHER people what's wrong with me (often times, hypocritically maintaining the mask of amiability towards me), lamenting how unrepentant I am.

I used to really detest such people. If you can't be bothered to talk it through with me, then don't hide behind the excuse that you can't win the argument. Its just that you can't be bothered... and I can't be bothered with someone who is only interested in telling me which part of myself offends their sensitivities. The ironic and sad thing is that such people themselves end up looking sort of self-righteous too...

(I've now learnt to ignore them. You can't stop dogs from barking.)

Back to the quote: There's at least a tiny grain of truth to be found in what Henry Rollins said... If nothing you've been saying tells me that you're more interested in protecting me and doing what's really good for me, then why shouldn't I stand up for myself? Who in his right mind faces the firing squard and not shy from it?

In MY (self-righteous) opinion, I think there're at least 2 ways of being so pompous. Either you are defensive when others attack you, or else you're the one who puts himself on a higher moral platform and does the judging.

My only defence? I think I spend most of my self-righteousness defending myself, instead of judging others.

Thought of the day - which side of self-righteousness do you fall on?

(P.S. If you find yourself answering "neither", its time to seek counselling.)

Distance

I used to wonder why is it that when people grow up, they will eventually distance themselves from church, and from friends. I see my parents’ generation, and how they’re all hard-pressed to find a confidante they can go to. And I wonder if its because they’ve not had the kind of childhood I’ve had, or could it have been something else.

“是否成人的世界背后，总有残缺”

I guess after some time, I begin to see why.

I’ve seen friendships sour when one party decides to cut off ties, I’ve seen friendships deteriorate when both parties change their opinions of each other, and I’ve seen partnerships dissolve when one or both parties pick on each other.

The tragedy often lies with how the parties involved have no idea of the damage they’re doing to the relationship, till its too late. After that, what’s left is the sullen silence, followed by the inevitable estrangement.

Often times, I muse to myself that the aftermath of a sullen estrangement is worse off than the indifference of two strangers, esp in a church. So perhaps there is a little wisdom to be found in not being too open with others.

It seems that very few people can take the open-ness of others. Cos when I’m open with you, I will very inevitably impose on you. And sooner rather than later, I will tread on one or several of your sensitivities. That ends up creating the rather awkward situation where you are torn between letting me know how you feel (and look like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill), or slowly storing up inside yourself, a list of pent up frustrations abt my relating to you. Of course, it means that at the same time I’m storing up pent-up frustrations abt you.

And all this while, we’re deluding ourselves abt the glorious friendship that we enjoy, and how lucky we both are to have each other.

And we don’t know that the stage has already been set for the unavoidable fallout.

As the friendship grows, so does the assumptions we have of each other, that we have a decent understanding of the other party. We are comfortable sharing with each other things abt ourselves that we normally would not reveal to others. And sometimes in the course of doing so, again things come out that we can’t really accept abt each other, which we try to write off.

Somewhere along the line, these pent-up emotions find a release in some incident where we blow up at each other, which we afterwards mistakenly treat as “conflicts which are an inevitable part of deepening friendships”. By not correctly identifying what is really going, we only end up papering over the cracks that are showing up in the friendship.

Repeat this process several times, and we have two people with a lot of pent up frustration that releases itself in outburst… and two people who start questioning why the friendship can’t seem to get out of such a rut. Such unresolved questions eventually causes us to grow tired of the relationship, and to stop trying so hard at it. “Don’t try so hard, and avoid the conflicts. It doesn’t seem to get resolved, and I’m tired of it”, we tell ourselves.

So we start giving the other person less and less priority, thinking that the less confrontations would actually help the friendship, as well as preserve the peace you crave. If done tactfully, then with a great deal of luck the friendship gets preserved. All too often, the inevitable outcome is that one party realize she’s been left behind, and reacts to the hurt instead of asking why.

Sullenness ensues.

Followed by estrangement.

As a sixteen year old, I keenly felt the hurt of a friendship that left me hanging. I can only imagine how much more a friendship over the years now would deliver a fatal blow towards my faith in openness and friends. So maybe my sister’s mantra of “let people get close to you, but don’t open up yourself too much to others” is not really a bad thing after all.

Up close, no one can look good. And when so many of us think we can handle openness when we actually can’t, many of us take on more than we can handle. The damage that results often many times more than the good it once generated.

So all you out there who once encouraged openness in friendships, think carefully about what it is you’re asking.

And when even friendships alone are like this, I shudder to imagine the devastation we have amongst us when we think abt the marriages that must be in shambles.

Closure

“I don’t get it. Why would such a person like him have any friends?” So I overheard on the MRT today. The person in question was bitching abt her over-bearing boss, who apparently takes any and everyone to town when he’s in a bad mood, regardless of whether that person is an employee, or just the helpless courier service uncle in his sixties.

I was letting that phrase turn in my head a few times, since it obviously set off a few echoes in my head abt something I said not too long ago.

I guess we all have our own nemesis, someone (or someones) whom we’d dearly love to see amongst the charred remains of an accident we read abt in the papers. That person whom you wish would choke and die on his or her own saliva the very next time you see them talking.

And naturally, we’d all wonder how such a person could retain any friends at all. I remember wondering abt a friend I had, who was with a real bastard guy, and I’d sit down and wonder at how blind love must be, if she could not see that she was dating a louse. (She married him last year, as a matter of fact.) Then also, I had another friend who would make up excuses to defend her boyfriend whenever he beat her up. Love isn’t just blind – its also brainless, so I realized.

I was asked some time this year abt how I’m doing when it came to bearing grudges. I guess there’s no prizes for guessing what springs to mind. People used to groan and tell me its time to move on, and that I shd just stop being so petty. And I used to find it so hard to resolve it within myself, why it still rankles when I think of it. I expected much better of myself.

And so it was that I had a mini-epiphany, and realized what I should do. I was surprised it took me so long to come to it - It rankles me cos I never understood how such a person could still have friends. It was an unfair expectation I had of others that kept me from letting go.

On my part, I only saw the way he treated me, and so I expected everyone to react to him the way I did. After all, if that’s how he truly was, why can’t people see the hypocrisy of his ways? And so each time people seemed to be on good terms with him, it galled me that they still chose to not see the folly of their ways.

On their part, they never did experience his treatment of me for themselves, and had no way of understanding the impact it had on me. So when people starting to talk to me abt letting go, it really pissed me off. I mean, you go and try telling a rape victim that her rapist is actually a pretty decent guy, and 3 years is a long time to bear a grudge…

When I could finally identify for myself what was bothering me, I guess I finally could lay to rest the whole nonsense and put it behind me. All I need to do is to stop having these unfair expectations of others to react to him the way I do. And to stop talking to people abt him, so that I avoid the situation where people piss me off for trying to play counselor to a problem they dun understand.

Haha… Ah well. So… as Lent approaches its end, and as I sit back and reflect on one of the most significant chapters of my life, I guess its time to finally close it.

Next major project is to get myself a discipler, and to find time to have regular bible study. I’ve been pretty slack for a long time now, esp when it comes to reading the bible… need to start getting myself in order again.

My Silence

Been so long since I last came back to this page.

Haha… guess the moon has been really blue of late, that I should be coming back to re-visit my blog.

I guess blogging’s a habit. Once you’re at it, you keen doing it. Stop for a while, and its hard to break free from the inertia to start again.

So often I would think of something and tell myself that I should blog abt it… then I forget it 2 seconds later.

But here I am, back again on the company PC, finding myself with a spot of free time.

Silence is good.

Silence helps people see things from different perspectives.

After being quiet for some time, I’ve had to chance to hear what are the sounds that have filled the silence, and what are the things that are being said.

Ah well. Hopefully, I’ll start the blogging habit again, and actually have something meaningful to say.

Loving Is...

This post was inspired by my row with a friend. So to all my faithful readers/lifeless sods who continue to visit this semi-hibernated page, I wonder what your take on this is....

What does love do?
Some people focus on the fallibility of man. They choose to fixate on the fact that man can and surely will fail you, so they don't ever expect much of you. They're content that you had the best of intentions. For these people, their claim is that they've learnt to compensate for the fallibility of men with lowered expectations... happy to accept the bare minimum because expecting more would be unrealistic, in light of how none of us are God.

For me, I believe that the more I count someone as a friend, and the more I claim to love someone, the more my expectations are of the person. Its not an expectation borne out of selfishness. Don't get me wrong. If you tell me you can't give anything, it won't negate the friendship nor the affections I have of you. But because I love you, I won't fixate on how fallible you are, but on how much more you are capable of. If you ultimately fail me, I will accept it, and still love you. But I won't be able to love you while constantly bearing in mind the fact that you will fail me.

If you're my wife, I expect you to remain faithful to me. If you betray me, I will find it somewhere in my heart to forgive you – if I truly loved you. But I cannot imagine myself living day to day with the understanding that you will betray me one day because you are fallen. I cannot imagine loving you without expecting the highest standards of fidelity, and the expectation that you keep to it.

Likewise if you are a friend, I cannot imagining myself confiding in you my deepest and darkest insecurities without having nothing except the most absolute expectation that it is held in the strictest of confidence. I cannot imagine myself ever sharing anything with anyone if at the back of my mind I am already expecting that person to fail me. Semantics aside, I see no practical difference between such a behavior, and a complete lack of genuine trust in that person. If I trust you, I will believe in you. I.e., I will believe that you won't let me down. So much so that even if people tell me otherwise, I won't take their word for it, but seek to verify it for myself.

I'd hate to think that if one day rumor goes round that I've let someone down, that person shrugs it down as human nature, and doesn't have the faith in me to expect better.


Loving someone
I was getting really sick and tired of the expression “That's just how I am.” Why do people think that they can get away with such an excuse? Imagine standing before God on Judgment Day, and telling Him that!

I believe that when we claim to love someone, we put that other person first. There's no room for “that just how I am”, or “that's just how I relate to others”. Imagine if Jesus had taken such a stand, and decided to come down “just the way He is”!!!

If you insist on your point of view because it is an issue of right or wrong, I absolutely respect that. But if you can't be bothered to accommodate the other person's preference, and instead favor your own system of reaching out, then I guess you can stop pretending to love that person. If you refuse to accommodate someone's expectation (within reason, of course) because it doesn't sit down well with you, then you obviously are just in love with yourself.

Its probably something we're all guilty of, to differing degrees. I guess one of the biggest causes of church conflicts and splits is the result of choosing to see things from no other perspective except one's own. Its so easy to see that as a by-stander. How two deacons who fall out with each other over “a matter of principles” is often no different from two kids who wants to play with different games at the fair – nothing's wrong with either, yet they just want to insist on doing it their way. Yet when we ourselves are embroiled in the midst of such a conflict, we doggedly insist on our own way of doing things, and insist on being validated instead of being loving.


So there you go.

Your take?

Quotable Quotes

"The worst thing about playing Chelsea is having to listen to Mourinho afterwards."
- Edmilson, Barcelona

I Hate Taiwan

'Nuff said.

Passion

Sorry I've been away for so long. A combination of factors such as a PC that has died at home, and the peak period at work has led to me being unable to do anything much on my blog. But a combination of one too many weddings lately and having read a friend's piece on the pursuit of one's dreams, I guess I wanted to put this down to remind myself in days to come when financial responsibilities might cloud my better judgment on how I should be viewing my life.

I guess it's a kiasu syndrome that we've perfected in Singapore, where we've rationalized out why building an economic surplus makes more sense than incurring an economic deficit, that such a philosophy is ingrained in us. People used to dismiss my notions of getting married without the fabled "financial stability" that seems to be everyone else's paramount consideration. Ask any dating couple when they intend to get married, and 9.5 out of ten times, they'll respond "not enough money". (Funny how everyone continues to insist that money is not the most important consideration in a relationship.)

I guess I've stopped voicing out my romantic ideals that as long as both parties can feed themselves, there's no reason why they cannot get married and live a lifestyle that supports them both. What is it abt marriage that is supposed to bankrupt you in a way that dating doesn't? Surely not having financial and career stability isn't the real problem?

Looking at a friend who is considering giving up her very promising career to go into full-time ministry, and how despite being miles away I can almost see her eyes light up when she mentions it, I suddenly realize what could be the reason why people decry her decision.

People who've never known bigger dreams often choose to anchor themselves in the security of their conventional wisdom. People who have never known the passion of a dream will never understand why someone can throw away what they themselves long for... be it a promising career or other material securities. They might be stirred when a dream they used to uphold is offered to them... but they are reluctant to step out of the security of their conventional prudence.

I look at the full-time workers that I know, and I see now how they can do what I cannot – give up material security in exchange for a higher calling. One's pragmatic wisdom needs to be abandoned in the face of an altruistic call to something more. And the key to that is passion.

If you have a passion for God, you'll be able to see beyond the material losses and embrace your ascetic life with delight. There'll be a joy that comes with every day that you live, even if its right in the face of a life of minimal comforts. It is what enabled the apostle Paul to praise God with a genuine joy in the prison cell, so much that it shook the very walls of the place. Without that passion, everyday you live will be a day of repression, where you are more aware of what you gave up than what you now have. And in time such a life would build resentment instead of fulfillment, and it is the reason why failures would get us down and cause us to doubt instead of continuing to rejoice and trust.

And if you shrink that argument down to a miniature scale, you'll get a clue into why couples are reluctant to marry and claim its because they don't have money... if they're living a very comfortable life yet continue to plead "not enough money yet" as the excuse for not getting married, perhaps its because they lack a genuine passion for each other.

Or even more sadly, they've never known the passion that a genuine love brings, that can cause one to abandon prudence and honestly mean it when they say they're willing to lay down their lives for each other.

For me, I've been saying this since ages ago – if I find the love of my life, I can't wait for my life with her to begin. I don't see the point of waiting until I have 5 zeroes in my bank account, plus a house and a car to go along.

And so to you, my friend who is miles way, I dedicate this song to you. Kudos for daring to dream, for having the passion to even think abt going down that line.

As for me, I pray that my passion for a life partner is not only matched, but even superseded by my passion for God.

What Went Wrong?

I had lunch with an old friend who was leaving Reuters after 3 years here, and we started talking abt being unequally yoked.

He started to talk about how it wasn’t a good idea to be unequally yoked, and I pretty much knew all the reasons why. And its not like I disagreed with him… but I guess it made me think abt my take on the issue, and why its different from his.

Most people come from the angle of what’s right and what’s wrong about dating someone who isn’t Christian. And there’s nothing wrong in doing that. I agree that we should always measure ourselves against a benchmark of where to draw the lines, so to not rationalize away everything we do and end up being blameless in our own eyes. Sure – if you get attached to a non-christian, you need to know that when people say you are wrong, they have a point.

You’re not allowed to feel as though you’ve done nothing wrong.

And I think that’s where my friend was coming from.

On the other hand, I was a lot more concerned abt the scenario that led up to the Christian finding companionship outside of the church. Discounting the peripheral Christians who need to be worried abt a lot more than holding the hands of a non-Christian, I wonder abt the lay leaders in the church… people who display a greater maturity in church… and what could have driven them to find understanding outside of church.

And I’d be more concerned abt that instead.

If I hear that a prominent youth leader in my church had hooked up with a NC, I wouldn’t go on a run of recriminations, and embark on the process of ‘counselling’ that person, hoping that he’d repent of his ways. At least, it won’t be first thing I do.

Because I understand.

I understand how hard it is to find someone within the church. As a leader in the church, your r/s would be under the microscope amongst those you’re around… Wanting to retain your rights to privacy gets you branded as not being accountable. Make a mistake and you have the full force and effect of the church community’s judgment taking place behind your back.

There’s so much pressure on the couple to “do what’s right”, that there’s no room for them, to learn from their mistakes. The first mistake is fatal. And like all newbies who are fresh in this game of love, the mistakes they make are usually the most prominent and common ones (read: physical intimacy, exclusivity, imbalance of priorities…). And the price to pay for making the most common mistakes of all is the overwhelming response that is communicated as “concern”, but is experienced as judgment and maybe even condemnation.

Its funny how the church community never turns on itself, to ask where they themselves went wrong. As a body that is supposed to be keeping each other in check, and keeping each other accountable, how have we “loved each other as we love ourselves”? When a member of the body fails, when was the last time we looked at how we may have failed him or her? Instead of only seeing where he or she went wrong, mebbe its time to look in the mirror and ask God how we have been deficient in treating each other as part of ourselves.

I used to wonder why people who are non-Christians keep saying that we Christians like to judge people. I used to wonder abt the ‘misunderstanding’. Now I see that if we judge our own family so harshly, how much more we must be intolerant towards those outside the family.

I think of the verse that says “he who is forgiven little forgives little…”, and I find myself reminded that the next time I have an automatic reaction of judging how someone was right or wrong, I really need to remember the grace and mercy accorded to me, and make every effort to make the offending party feel more accepted and forgiven than condemned.

A Post Just ForYou

He’s certainly brought you down a long long journey to find that elusive love… And I was really so glad for you last night, when I heard abt what happened. Grins.

Things are gonna be pretty exciting from now on… Hahahaha… Don’t worry abt those busybodies who don’t understand what’s going on ya? I don’t need to tell you who will be those rooting for you no matter what happens. As for me… I’ve always loved blondies.

Wuahahahaha…

Am so excited for you!!!

Anyway, just thought that this is a monumentous enough occasion to warrant a post set aside just to celebrate and remember this day. =)

Regrets - I've Had A Few...

Not too long ago, someone repeated to me what I’ve heard and felt a hundred times before already – “You never know what you had until you lose it”.

I heard the song 雨天 by Sun Yanzi, and totally fell in love with it. Anyone who has experienced the chagrin of regret after recognizing what has really been lost, will be able to appreciate the sentiments of this song.

With the haze going around, and the skies looker bleaker as a result, I’ve naturally been drawn back towards the dark side, thinking back to the days past, to what I have wasted and what I have lost.

Ever regretted bitterly your decisions, only to be faced with the hard truth that you have no recourse except to shoulder the weight of your choice? Ever looked back and lamented the wasted opportunities, the things that you could have done had you but tried? Ever bemoaned the problems that would not have existed today had you paid attention to it back then?

If you do, then welcome to the club. But as a dearly loved friend of mine recently found out, grey skies DO part… some dreams have to die so that loftier ones can have the chance to grow.

So if you’re wallowing in the sentiments of this song, and again trapped inside your head with the demons that you made, take heart… The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is real…

In the meantime, don’t make the same mistakes anymore. Take a good look around you, and stop floundering in the quagmire of your folly… start re-looking at your life, and recognize what is important to you… then learn to cherish it. Whether it be loved ones, or be it where you are right now in your life… take a moment to stop thinking abt the things you want to change… and give thanks for the things right now that you hope will never change.

Yes, this doesn’t sound like the regular me. And no, I’m not dying of cancer.

Grins.

I’m just trying a different form of therapy today at work. Grins. Need to think positive thoughts to stay awake…