There And Back Again

So its yet another week again, and I'm back in school trying to tell myself to study. Its a desperately lonely feeling sometimes, and I guess on such a morning as this, I'm feeling it all the more keenly. Hey, I've got lotsa friends around, and many of whom do msg and keep asking how I am, and checking in on me to make sure that I'm ok, and that I'm studying. So why the loneliness that doesn't seem to go away?

I guess I miss being able to do things for pple. There's a certain joy to be derived from being able to do things for pple, to show them that you care, and that you remember. The satisfaction you get when you see the look on their face, or the appreciation that they express after many years at something you did for them back then... its always been something I like doing.

So I guess sometimes I miss being able to do that. Now after I'm single, I've missed out a lot on doing such things. Sending someone home, cooking for her, buying little gifts, all the little affections that I can dish out, that right now I don't have an outlet.

So I swing from being able to enjoy my singlehood and the freedom that comes with it, and the moments when I wonder what to do with all the free time I have.

I guess I never seem to be able to make up my mind, and know what is it that I want.