And so it is that 2009 has finally arrived. So many things have simultaneously happened in the last 2 months that I’ve hardly had time to breathe. The most obvious was the financial crisis that has more or less laid to rest my option of going overseas to study. Perhaps after so much talk about me being the one who is reluctant to go overseas, God had other plans for me after all.
Then there was the huge mess that erupted about my housing arrangements due to the complicated business of rental and tenancy that my family now has. In a nutshell, we stay in a rented apartment whilst our own place is rented out. The reason being that my 2 retired parents get to make some income out of the balance to support their recalcitrant unemployed son. And since both leases expire around the end of the year, its been a crazy circus of deciding whether or not to keep the current arrangement and source for new tenants, or to just move in.
And there was the terrible business of my friend discovering that her husband of 16 years has had a second wife for 11 of those years, and has 2 kids. Quite a bolt out of the blue, and it was just a little more than I could handle, trying to help her in her moment of grief. I really don’t understand how some people can sleep at night. In a way, it must be such a wonderful thing to be devoid of a conscience and a heart. Such people are probably the only ones who sleep soundly at night, and can live with themselves being who they are. I guess adultery is one of the most extreme forms of betrayal, which has always remained a very sore spot for me. It made me really angry with her husband, and it made me extra determined to do what I can to help her – which in turn left me feeling even more hapless.
Church continues to spiral more and more into trouble, and I’ve just been vacillating between rage at the way things are, and the decision to commit myself even more in order to help things instead of merely bitching. As I write, I’m on the brink of losing 2 of the strongest pillars of my personal community as well as ministry, and my cell group is officially disbanded. In place of the rubble, I will most likely be starting a new cell group, co-leading with Weimin, just as I will have to commit even more to the worship ministry. All this at the point in time when I shall be starting school yet again, and cannot afford to screw up.
So yes, the end of 2008 has been even more doom and gloom than the pessimist in me would have expected.
And so as I sit and type, I find myself asking what’s the question I need to be asking for 2009? Is it how I should change my attitude? (Be more positive and proactive, and I’d do more good than merely whining?) Or is it more New Year Resolutions, only this time I be less ambitious and set more tangible goals that can be realistically achieved? Or perhaps I should start asking myself what’s really important to me, so that I don’t go charging through 2009 fighting fires for everything ranging from family to church to studies to relationship.
I really don’t know…
Then there was the huge mess that erupted about my housing arrangements due to the complicated business of rental and tenancy that my family now has. In a nutshell, we stay in a rented apartment whilst our own place is rented out. The reason being that my 2 retired parents get to make some income out of the balance to support their recalcitrant unemployed son. And since both leases expire around the end of the year, its been a crazy circus of deciding whether or not to keep the current arrangement and source for new tenants, or to just move in.
And there was the terrible business of my friend discovering that her husband of 16 years has had a second wife for 11 of those years, and has 2 kids. Quite a bolt out of the blue, and it was just a little more than I could handle, trying to help her in her moment of grief. I really don’t understand how some people can sleep at night. In a way, it must be such a wonderful thing to be devoid of a conscience and a heart. Such people are probably the only ones who sleep soundly at night, and can live with themselves being who they are. I guess adultery is one of the most extreme forms of betrayal, which has always remained a very sore spot for me. It made me really angry with her husband, and it made me extra determined to do what I can to help her – which in turn left me feeling even more hapless.
Church continues to spiral more and more into trouble, and I’ve just been vacillating between rage at the way things are, and the decision to commit myself even more in order to help things instead of merely bitching. As I write, I’m on the brink of losing 2 of the strongest pillars of my personal community as well as ministry, and my cell group is officially disbanded. In place of the rubble, I will most likely be starting a new cell group, co-leading with Weimin, just as I will have to commit even more to the worship ministry. All this at the point in time when I shall be starting school yet again, and cannot afford to screw up.
So yes, the end of 2008 has been even more doom and gloom than the pessimist in me would have expected.
And so as I sit and type, I find myself asking what’s the question I need to be asking for 2009? Is it how I should change my attitude? (Be more positive and proactive, and I’d do more good than merely whining?) Or is it more New Year Resolutions, only this time I be less ambitious and set more tangible goals that can be realistically achieved? Or perhaps I should start asking myself what’s really important to me, so that I don’t go charging through 2009 fighting fires for everything ranging from family to church to studies to relationship.
I really don’t know…
