Back From Macau...

Macau has been an experience in humility… in recognizing that there is much out there greater than myself…

2600 delegates from more than 50 countries, all with one purpose in mind… How to take the gospel to the nations. And the thing is, these weren’t no-life religious fanatics who let their who purpose in life revolve around missions because they had nowhere better to invest their time. Many used to be rich executives who had given up all they had to respond to the call. Very very successful and capable businessmen who were leaders on an international stage. One of my workshops was taught was 2 guys – one was the former director of Prudential Asia Pacific who is now the pastor of Grace Baptist Church… and the other is a former pastor who left to start up an airline to evangelize out to the corporate world… both its leaders as well as his employees. Yet to hear their humility in speech as well as when they talk abt the love of the gospel they have… man.

It was a breath-taking glance at what C.S Lewis spoke of in Screwtape Letters, when he talked of how the Christian will be forever lost as long as it is “abt the gospel plus something else”. I went home thinking abt how easily we all fall into the trap. Emphasize on tithing too much and very soon the church becomes run no different from profit organizations, where a lot of its ministry invariably becomes hampered by people who tithe a lot, but who also end up controlling how the money is spent. Focus too much on organizational efficiency and stream-lining, and very soon the very people being ministered to become mere pawns where the aim is to grow numbers and boast cosmeticized results instead of people. Stress too much on unity and very soon we all become so inward looking that we selfishly squabble and resent each other over “our own resources”, as if we were right to believe that we – instead of God – own them.

Each lunch we had at any table was always with some Reverend or Missionary who would beam at us and tell us how happy they were to see young faces. And I was so struck by their words on retrospect. Here in the second service we complain and we talk so much abt the lack of sucession... and how we don’t expect ourselves to be doing the things we do right now in 20 yrs’ time. Yet here they all are, sitting in front of me… 60 yrs old, and still going out there to preach the gospel and share Christ… and when they shared how happy they were to finally see young faces, I can only shudder to imagine their loneliness in ministry as they labor on, asking God to raise up new leaders with none in sight.

I’ve cried at many a Christian camp before. I’ve cried at many a Christian rally before. Usually it happens during worship, where God’s presence and voice seems to always bring out my emotions the most. Or else its during a very moving testimony, where the story of God working in our midst would bring me much comfort and encouragement. At times it happens during an altar call, where the speaker invokes the name of God to call to either repentance or commitment. But at this conference, I think I was moved to tears each time I just look around me to catch a small small glimpse of what heaven must feel like… surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses. “Humbling” doesn’t even come close to describing what it felt like.

The lessons learnt were very personal ones. Lessons like the call to no compromise. Being reminded again and again of Abraham and Issac, and God's call to offer up to Him what I claim to be my most precious. No big meta-narrative to give here. I really think God spoke to me very very personally in this conference. It wasn’t the typical Crusade-style evangelistic meeting where the theme was always “Christ died for you – what would your response be?”. Nothing wrong with that style, mind you. Just that this conference was… different. There was no eagerness to impose and elicit a response from the people around. There was no need to. Every life to my left and right was a testimony to what a life surrendered to God might look like. Everyone had a story to share abt being hurt by church and by people. And they all had a story to share of how God not only saved them from their spiritual death, but He brought them back from their emotional crucifixion as well.

Been a whirlwind of activity since I returned home… the air was really bad in Macau and Hong Kong, and I returned home with a pretty bad flu, cough and asthma. The fact that I start work the day after I reached home didn’t help…

So I guess I shall stop here….

Lots of pics to come next… very soon, I promise. Tho I broke my camera on the first night I was in Hong Kong, so unfortunately nothing to show from there.

But I think I took plenty enough otherwise.

By the way, don’t bother with the Portugese egg tarts of Macau. They’re an absolute lie. We walked for hours without seeing any. And the supposedly “best” ones were very ordinary. They weren’t bad, per se. Just very ordinary.

Ah well.

I know the dowager is having the time of her life in Beijing, with a lot of pics showcasing what she’s been eating over there. *envious*

Sigh.

Ah well. At least I know its not building up around MY waist.

WUAHAHAHAHAHA…

Post Birthday Entry...

I guess I’m due for a belated birthday entry.

Scandinavia has come and gone… so much has been going on in my life that has left me with so little time to think and act. I‘ve been spending the past 2 weeks since returning… reacting to everything going on around me. Been so tired out also, that I really haven’t had much impulse to indulge in my whoring for public attention via this blog.

Thus the radio silence.

I was told yesterday that my belief in communities always forces me to walk a very thin line. I don’t give myself space to make mistakes, since the consequences are ten times more severe in the context of community. By keeping every friend of mine separate from one another, I can jeopardize one friendship and still find solace in the others.

I guess that’s true.

The tricky thing abt community is that when things are going fine, the synergy can really be a force used for good… everyone is very encouraged and built up. Its like a rainforest that becomes an eco-system in itself, each one playing an active role in sustaining one another. But it only takes one spark within that system during a dry spell, to spark a raging fire that can clean out the whole rainforest overnight.

But I guess I wouldn’t have done it any other way. The tacky side of me will always decide that I’d much rather have lived and died, instead of never having truly lived before.

Speaking of living… I’ve now a total of 27 years to account for, yet somehow nothing much seems to have changed. I’m beginning to ask myself if I should only check back here again when I’m 40, and the wandering is supposed to have ceased. Hehz…

It’s been a quiet birthday, the kind that I like. It had its moments, such as the party that Weixiu put a lotta effort into throwing, yet also the element of minimal fanfare in that very few wished me a happy birthday this yr as compared to the previous years. And for that, I’m truly grateful. Being able to spend my entire birthday this year doing only what I wanna do, without having to oblige anyone at all felt really great.

I was told that I seem to have withdrawn myself a lot from pple over the past half a year. I’ve stopped bothering to maintain a lot of the peripheral relationships that I used to bother about. I guess I just got too tired of caring. When you’re approaching 30, you’re supposed to be slowly phasing out the friends that you know will never really be there for you, and learn to reserve your time only for those that by now you know truly matters.

I guess its fine when you’re the one doing the phasing out. The shock comes when you realize that you who live by the sword also dies by it. The gradual realization did hit me that amongst my friends, I too, am slowly being phased out of some of their lives.

Ah well. C’est la vie…

The aftermath of Zidane’s sending off still seems to reverberate and taint Italy’s triumph at the World Cup. Calls for investigation, ugly speculations as to what must have been said to have elicited such a response from a footballing gentleman, verbal exchanges of slurs and lies in the papers… coupled with the match-fixing scandal that is already rocking Serie A, I think the Italians deserve a little bit of compassion.

Honestly, I think aside from the penalty they won against Australia that was undeserved, they have generally performed well and won the World Cup on their merits. Yet to never be able to enjoy the fruits of their success because of the complications that surround it.. it sucks. It seems to have taken the shine off the victory, and it seems to have therefore diminished the respect and credit that they deserve.

Ah well.

On my part. I’m just glad its over and we can all go back to adjusting our bio clocks to sleep.

Sleeping of sleep…

Time for me to sign off.

Will be back after my Macau trip. Back on 25th July.

I start work on the 26th!!

"The world is no longer a romantic place. Some of its people still are, however. And therein lies the promise. Don’t let the world win…"

- John Cage, Ally McBeal

Must Love Dogs

These pictures represent the happiest 20 minutes of my time in Scandinavia. Being able to roll around with these 2 Malmuts... I knew my day was complete. They were warm, gentle, friendly... everything I was looking for in a dog...

And they cost 700 euros each.

I was asked for a birthday wishlist. How abt just this - a pair of Malmuts.

Grins.

Scandinavia Snippets

So much to say abt my Scandinavian trip, but I really have no idea where to start. Decided I'd just drop snippets of things that I had jotted down here and there, and let them come out here on this blog as and when the occasion arises.

And since this is sunday, I'll mention how my two sundays went.

I really missed the service back in my church. From the people, to the building, to the fact that it felt odd to be travelling arouhnd the different parts of Europe to be visiting churches instead of going to one to worship.

The churches were all exquisite...

And so there I was admiring all the details paid to the architecture... to the details... and just how much effort was evidently put into the whole design and building of the place... and I was very much saddened to think that at the end of the day, the church building is nothing more than an ornate structure that attracts the tourists to converge on. Because it was on a sunday that I visited some of the churches, and there was no worshipping taking place. Only eager groups of people in all shapes and sizes, snapping away at their cameras, getting their dollar's worth of shots.

It struck me that sometimes that's what my own church can be like... people who throng in droves into the building, eager to fulfill their expectations, hardly ever pausing to consider the intent of their having stepped into a place once set apart for sanctuary and meditation.

Its a reminder to me that my life and my body, as the temple of the living God, needs to avoid becoming a mere relic that once was set apart for His use.