How Now, Brown Cow?

Lately the topic about church keeps creeping up. So I’m using this space as an avenue to straighten my thoughts.

The church needs to distinguish itself from being a mere social gathering. Sometimes, we tend to borrow things from our work and from social events, thinking that there are some very useful skills/methods we can employ, that will be of help. And they’re really helpful. Sometimes, so much so that we end up forgetting we need to be more than merely a social gathering.

What’s the difference? Its all about the motor that drives the vehicle.

Right now, I see a lot of programs being organized. Attendance is dropping? We’ll organize gatherings, have tea refreshments, celebrate events, have camps, do outreach. Lots of programs. We think that by implementing the right system, the problem is solved. Then when nothing much changes, we put the blame on the system, or the implementation. So we try even harder, come up with better programs, newer activities, increase the budget, and rally more.

My take? There’s nothing wrong with the program. The problem is with the motivating factor.

All this while, NOBODY would contest the statement that it is the Word of God that gives life to the church. After all, who could be THAT stupid?? We all know that is true!! Yet we seem to suffer from chronic blindness when we are running our ministries. We spend a lot of time equipping our people in skills or ministry, and hardly any time at all in nurturing people to grow in the Word. The two most common platforms for teaching – the pulpit and the life group, have been mostly reduced to pep talk sessions, where we don’t ground people in the Word of God, merely in the “10 steps to being an effective Christian”.

Instead of teaching, we merely equip.

(Just to further distinguish the two – When we equip someone, the implication is that we are preparing someone to DO the work. When we teach and nurture someone, we are giving the people the ENERGY to do the work. So do the math, and you’ll see that equipping is seldom the problem. People with energy will find ways to equip themselves. People with no energy won’t move even with the best equipment.)

Sure, we have Sunday school. But how do you convince the congregation that the Word is central, when we so blatantly marginalize it on the pulpit and in our life groups? In fact, if we did a word count of everything said on the pulpit, we’ll find that we spend more time pushing programs, than emphasizing the importance of God’s Word. Its almost as if we have an attitude where we take it for granted that the Word is most important, so we ignore it and just go straight to our agendas.

Its no wonder that people don’t respond when we rally them to serve. They have nothing in them to give!! We don’t feed them properly, leaving them malnourished. Then without a proper support system in place, we spend all our resources trying to invite more people into church where they proceed to tax the system further. To borrow an analogy from the finance sector, its akin to living life on credit when expenditure dramatically outweighs income. Someday, the whole market is going to crash, and there will be hell to pay.

Its been three years now, since we’ve been pushing for better support and structure for the life group ministry. We have a few groups in crisis-state. Our leaders are always left to fend for themselves, and nothing much has been done at all. Instead, we channel our energies on the new church building, on missions, on Life Games, on events, and think that by having all these other activities, we can paper over the cracks that are staring at us in the face.

The saddest thing is, we’ve become so far lost, that we don’t even know what the real deal looks like anymore. That’s why nobody knows how to address the problem. Its like the time when we dissolved youth fellowship for a few years, and totally lost the culture. The tragedy that resulted was having something so precious lost, and even till now, the youths never did manage to regain what was once there. I’m afraid that it’s the same thing happening now to us with regards to the Word. Nobody knows anymore what its like to have a Word-centered congregation. Nobody seems to know how to build such a congregation anymore. So we make feeble attempts at addressing the problem (e.g., using DVDS to supplement the teaching in life groups, have Sunday school to compensate for the lack of teaching…), and then go back again to the comforts of doing what we’re comfortable with – programs.

And I’m also equally lost as to how to go about it. The best face I can place on what I’m feeling now, is to call it what Bill Hybels labels as a “Holy Discontent”. Of course, maybe its just me being a complain king. But I do believe that this is the key to reviving our congregation. I think what we really need now is a King Josiah, someone who restores the centrality of the Word to its primary place. Only then can there be genuine repentance, and only then will the Lord find favor with us.

Of course, if I were to raise this matter up to the leadership, I will be told that things are not that simple. And as much as I used to scorn such an answer, I’ve come to know that they’re just being honest. Life presents just so many variables that nothing is as clear-cut as we make it out to be. As if I’m not in their shoes, its unfair of me to just sit where I am and point fingers.

But that brings us back again to square one. How now, brown cow?

Turbulence

Recently there’s been a lot of opportunity to examine the leadership in church, as we discuss how and what we’re going to do about the chronic stagnation we find ourselves in.

On reflection of everything that was said during that time, I was surprised at how much anger and resentment I found with a lot of the leadership decisions that have been made. I know its easy to target people, and blame it all on Hong Li, the Executive Committee, or even the Elder Board. And I know I’m probably at least half right in the things that I said. But the shooting gallery is always where the cheapest seats are.

Maybe I’m just too much of a greenhorn to know the whole big picture. Maybe that’s really why nobody listens to what I have to say. After all, empty vessels make the most noise. They say that politicians campaign in poetry, and govern in prose. So maybe if I think more in prose instead of poetry, I’d be able to accept the direction that our church is currently heading in. So maybe the real reason why nobody feels the way I do, has to do with me.

Why should anyone listen to a 31 yr old who still hasn’t graduated, who has made a mess of his life, and who until now still hasn’t made anything much out of his whole existence? How dare he talk big, and criticize those who have accomplished so much more than him? How dare he claim to know better, to see clearer, and have the right solution for the complexities of the problems now plaguing the church?

Would I be doing the right thing if I stop making so much noise, and stop being so negative? Would it help more if I start being more positive in my feedback? I’ve always felt that people who only say good things, are ultimately contributing to potentially fatal blind spots. Yet perhaps by comparison, that would still be more helpful than the criticisms that I’ve been making.

What’s the point of giving feedback to people who aren’t interested in listening anyway? People who patronize you when you give your point of view, and who then privately mark you as a dissenter. Perhaps all this while, Henry was the smart one, like so many before him. Just walk away, if you’re not keen on sinking with the ship.

I want to help change things. I really do. And I think even though I may not have been the most hardworking or long suffering member of the church, I have given my fair share of endeavor. But when the leadership paradigm is so fixated on things that I fundamentally disagree with, it is so hard to endorse their leadership. Even harder to offer support and to sweat blood towards it. In Bill Hybels’ words, I’m more like a hired help now, rather than a shepherd.

So I’m again earnestly praying for directions. Asking that either God shows me what else I can do, or where else I can go. Or to otherwise learn anew the practice of submission, knowing that the bigger picture is of me submitting to His will, not anyone else’s.

About a week ago...

Baby Aaron was born!!!

He has a lot of potential to look as dashing as his uncle...

=)

Happy Birthday, buddy!!!

Updates

This blog has again gone through a long period without any blue moons. Which is why I think its time for an update. Not much of significance has happened in recent months, save two worth mentioning. One was an incident that took place during Sunday service, which Bill Hybels coined as a “this is church” moment, the other being a wedding.

About a month ago, All Saints Prebyterian Church, an English speaking church that worships in the basement of the Bible House, approached us half an hour before service started with a problem of theirs: the air conditioning had broken down, which made Sunday service a very discouraging prospect. Their service is at 10, whilst ours starts at 930 (though I SWEAR many in our congregation thinks it starts at 10).

Anyway, within an amazingly short space of time, we ironed out everything, and the entire All Saints Presbyterian Church congregation duly trooped into our sanctuary, and we pulled off a surprisingly smooth bilingual service. All this from a church that usually take 3 months of deliberation to approve a minor budget adjustment!! I was so proud of my church that day, for the graciousness that we displayed, and also the fact that we were able to pull off the whole thing so well.

Actually, my emotional reaction caught me off guard. I could not figure out why I would make such a big deal out of a seemingly straightforward event, albeit a good one. Then I realized that it might have something to do with just how little I’ve come to expect from the church, that when something like that generates a bit of warmth, I am so moved by what I witnessed. Secondly, I realized it was nostalgia. The whole feeling where as a body we worked together and saw God’s work being done. It has been so long since I last felt/experienced something like that.

I went home feeling just that little bit recharged that day, having been given a physical reminder YET AGAIN of just how much good God can bring out of what I perceive as mere rubble. It seems that despite so many sermons preached on Nehemiah this year, I was still persisting in seeing rubble as nothing more than that. I guess God wanted to give me a more tangible lesson to learn.

The second event worth noting is that Weifeng and Peishan were finally married!!!! It was a very sweet and slightly unconventional wedding, but it bore all the trademarks of both of them: stylish yet understated. No fuss, but a lot of thought had evidently gone into the planning.

So, even though the two of them will probably never read this, kudos to JT and PS for a smash hit wedding!!!