What Kind Of Day Has It Been?

Fans of The West Wing will recognize that I've titled today's entry with the the last episode of their first season, which ends in utter chaos with Bartlett having been shot. And to be honest, the only reason why I labelled it thus is only because I felt that today ended in a bit of a chaos today also.

Started by being woken up by Weimin who told me she hurt her ankle when Weixiu accidentally knocked her down with the car in SMU. Talk abt being jolted awake. And I guess after that I couldn't really get back to sleep, so I work up all grouchy cos I only went to bed abt 4 hours ago. Didnt' really have an all too productive day, getting all the more frustrated with myself as it went by because I really knew I wa wasting a lotta time. Had to re-format my blasted computer, and spent all day re-installing the softwares. Then my anti-virus decided to disagree with my Windows Office, so I had to un-install then re-install it all over again. Bloody shit.

Been feeling really kindda silly lately, dunno why also. Mebbe its the frustration, mebbe its something else, but I suddenly realised I missed crying. Hehz... Was watching this really tacky Channel U program, with a really bad script and plot, but I found myself wanting to be moved by it so that I could have a good cry. Walked away from the TV feeling really bewildered, and with just a little less esteem for myself. Hehz...

Then came something that really took the cake. Seems that Sophie went on one of her mood swings, and decided to send Paul a string od sms-es, declaring her undying devotion to him, and how she plans to marry Andre in order to get over it. Mm... would just like to also point out for the benefit of Paul who reads this, that in many ways, Sophie also is just as much a nutcase as Andre, so even if we like to think better of those we care for, mebbe they really do see things in each other that we don't see.

But so there we are, Paul wanting to save the world all over again, thinking abt how he can actually save their friendship AND Sophie from 3 yrs' of hell in a marriage she'd hate. (Yes, three yrs only cos by then she'd either have killed him or herself.) And I guess the bigger irony of it all lies in the fact that Paul had only just gotten back together with Joz. Grins. ANd he had the cheek to say that he thinks I would like to be in his shoes. Muahahahahaha... I ain't the manic-suicidal one, buddy.

Nevertheless, one thing I do concur is that in all honesty and with all possible consideration, not in a million years do I suppose that Sophie genuinely is in any way in love with Andre. And so there is my ultimate nightmare played into life by one of my closer friends. How in the world can a girl ever do something as drastic as marrying a guy whom she does not love? I remember watching Spiderman 2 and walking away with that big question looming in my head. The big question of why Mary-Jane would choose to marry someone else even though she knows in her heart who she's really meant to be with. (Tho in this current situation, the guy she has in her heart is currently both not interested in her, nor available. Hehz...) And tho I could shrug off that as nothing more than drama played out to its max in order for effect, here I hear abt some dumbass plan of Sophie's to but a flat and settle down with Andre.

Hahaha... and so even tho I seriously doubt anything will come out of these plans of hers, it still leaves me with another sickening sense of confirmation that love is so extremely hard to find, simply because so often we settle for so much less than what we should. I guess we all need to learn to distinguish between those we choose to love and spend the rest of our life with, and those whom we love while recognizing that forcing things isn't an act of love.

And of course, just to re-state my 2 big worries - that the girl I'm meant to be with is stuck with another guy, and the gilr I one day end up with might just be stuck to me.

Sigh.

What a day it turned out to be huh?