So It Has Happened

And so it has finally come to pass. Paul was today sentenced to one week in remand, and a 5 yr ban from driving. I guess you could look at it and say he got off light, since the benchmark for such an offence is about 2 months in jail. Yet nevertheless going into jail itself puts it in a totally different category, in that perculiar way it really deosn't matter whether its one week or one year.

His parents are obviously pretty distraught, and Jocelyn looked really bad. (No, not making my usual comments abt her looks. *grins*) Guess we were all hoping against hope that he'll find a reprieve and get away with a fine and ban. Now I'll have no one to whine and bitch abt my lonely long weekend to, simply cos my buddy has left me and is hanging ard with all his new boyfriends. Hehz...

Taking stock of my own life, I inevitably use Paul's as a yardstick to measure mine. Would I have traded lives with him , or traded any positions with his? Would I have preferred a degree that comes with a jail record, or no degree and yet with a spotless civil record? I guess I have no answers for that. Mebbe that in itself is the answer. There really is no difference. What's left is the kind of person I've become, and the kind of person that he's become, that's made all the difference.

Having come into closer contact with Joz in recent days, its so apparent that those two can't get each other out of their minds, and don't want to. So Joz keeps going to find Paul whenever she's down, and Paul inevitably responds whenever he gets such a call. One keeps going back to the other because he's still the one whom she trusts will really care for her, while the other keeps going back to her for fear that if he doesn't, she'll lose that trust in him and he in turn will lose her.

Sounds a bit like Days Of Our Lives if you ask me. Muahahahahaha... but I guess sometimes that's how the heart is, like a compass that inevitably keeps pointing in the same direction no matter where you turn. Funny thing is that I've yet to find that girl.

Thatday Paul and I were just talking abt relationships, and he pointed out to this thing he saw on Mobile TV, where someone had categorized your partner into 3 basic categories - The one you long to love, the one you end up loving, and the one you were meant to love. And yeah, that sorta made a lotta sense to me. So he concluded that Joz was more someone he longed to love, which made her so hard to get out of his life. And I concluded that Grace was more likely the one I ended up loving, so off the mark of my conceptualised partner was she. Mebbe that's why its so much easier for me to move on than it was for him.

Ah well... but guess we still are waiting and wondering if there will one day be that person we were meant to love who will show up. At least I am. And no, Nut, it prob ain't gonna be you. Grins. So don't get your hopes up.

Am still stuck in two minds abt staying on in NUS. Guess it would have been good to be able to run away from everything in Singapore, and take time out for myself to start afresh overseas, but staying in Singapore to finish up my degree makes so much more sense. Just need to give it my best shot and pray real hard I guess...

Sigh.

There's never anyone ard in the office. Bloody bored.