I believe this is the first time Arthur has ever commented on my blog. Thus, a momentous occasions calls for a momentous response. So allow me to follow up on my previous entry, and clarify what I had failed to properly elucidate.
I think the point I tried to make was that my good opinion "once lost", is lost forever. The notion of how the first impression lasts forever, if you will. The breaking point, if that better clarifies what I meant. Whether its through betrayal, or through disappointment, once the good opinion of you has been lost, it won't come back.
With regards to Henry, it was a case of one disappointment too many, and the straw that finally broke the camel's back was when he decided to leave without a word. I hope what you said came from your own conjecture, Art, because if it was straight out of Henry's mouth, it would only serve to further prove my point - he didn't even have the good graces to tell me himself why he's leaving and dumping the ministry on my shoulders. And in fact, it's not the first time he's left. Both times, he left without so much as a proper goodbye to his own ministry partners. In fact, this time round when he left, it was abrupt and petulant, almost as if he was taking out his impotent anger on those around him. I only managed to piece together parts of the story from his poor wife who was left to pick up his broken pieces. I would expect that out of some people in church, but perhaps I expected too much out of him.
The church leadership has always been around. I think it was no coincidence that his strongest commitment to serving the congregation and partnering in ministry came when he had fallen out with Andrew over what it means to serve God's church in spite of its leadership. And it was therefore not surprising that with his renewed relationship with Andrew, his disgruntlement with the church leadership started to be exacerbated once more.
Of course, there is a lot more that went on between me and Henry which culminated in losing my "good opinion" of him. But as you know, I am always eager to be discreet in my blog posts, so I shall leave it at that. *double winks*
Perhaps unforgiveness is a tad harsh. I don't think I still harbor a grudge against him. We all know who THAT particular honor belongs to. *Grins* But I guess I've stopped believing in him, and looking up to him as I used to. I still wish him all the best, I still retain a lot of fond memories of him, and I have nothing but the fondest memories of his wife. And I still really wish that he will continue to use that amazing gift that God has blessed him with, to serve wherever he is. But as I have stated in my previous posts, I don't believe that I will be able to serve in the same ministry with him anymore.
But of course, the bottom line is that my good opinion actually counts for very little. So the end-result of whatever I feel or say won't really matter all that much. Grins.
I've been the king, I've been the clown. Now broken wings can't hold me down. I'm free again. The jester with the broken crown, it won't be me this time around to love in vain.
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2 comments:
Guess no one at QBC wants me back either. Even if i had made my intentions clear frm the outset. But Cindy and gang are still friends... (oh no, WHY don't i have your good fortune??)
LOL... careful... you never know what lengths your "friends" go to in tracking your every word and movement.
But I guess you COULD do with a little good luck... perhaps you could get lucky with your pseudo-gf? *winks*
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