After Watching Hotel Del Luna

Watching Hotel Del Luna during the Circuit Breaker period is bad. It gives me plenty of time to brood and over-think the themes and the various values that were mentioned in the show.

One of the most significant elements of the show has to do with the Bridge to the Afterlife. In the show, souls begin the painful and long journey across the bridge in order to cross into the afterlife and be reborn. Along the way, they go through the process of forgetting everything about their past life. By the time they reach the end of the bridge, their soul is a clean slate, ready to begin anew.

Naturally, the most painful part of this process is reserved for the ones left behind, knowing someone they love will leave them, and never remember anything about them. We all prefer the concept of our loved ones looking down on us from heaven don’t we? One of the very poignant scenes (for me) featured a man who desperately hoped his dead girlfriend was still somewhere on earth and was accessible via a proxy. It was too painful to know that the parting was final and complete. And yet, it seems that both the Bible and the show share a similar notion that all relationships on earth are rendered meaningless in the eyes of eternity. 

In the Bible, we are told that there are no ties in heaven. No brother or sister, father or mother. No spouse, no children. We are all individual entities whose only communal relationship is that of being the Body of Christ. And that has always sounded perfectly normal back when I was deeply steeped in church teachings and the church community. Yet after watching this show and musing about the questions it stirred inside of me, I am left to wonder why is such a big deal therefore made of the institute of marriage. Unlike our own personal salvation which is eternal, we are told that the relationships we have on earth is a transient one. Once we die, it is rendered meaningless.

Why does that pose a quandary to me? Because the Bible also clearly instructs us not to invest in things that do no last. I believe in spiritual disciplines because my soul is eternal. I believe in serving in church because the whole plan is to eventually be the body of Christ. But if marriage so temporal, then why should I make such a big deal out of it?

Marriage is hard work. Ask any married couple. In fact, ask the alarming high population of divorcees. If I indeed was lucky enough to find my soul mate and invested a lifetime of effort in maintaining my relationship, building up memories of our shared endeavours together and  reaping the sweet benefits of a lifetime nurturing the love between me and my wife, it is indeed cruel beyond all measure to know that the hard work would indeed last merely this lifetime, after which it is rendered meaningless.

In the book of Genesis, God commands us to go forth and multiply. But this would not be possible without the institute of marriage, otherwise we would suffer the faux pas of committing sexual sin. So in fact, it would appear to me that marriage was instituted by God so that we can legitimately procreate in a way that does not offend God. Aside from that, I don’t see anything a marriage offers which a good fellowship in church cannot offer. From a Biblical perspective, of course.

I know 1 Corinthians 13 says that now we see dimly but then we shall see clearly. And that is the best defence I can have for why the Bible espouses marriage as a worthy enterprise despite its transience. Marriage is supposed to be a foreshadow for the true marriage which is the union between Christ and the Church. When that day comes, everything we had in a marriage pales and fades away in comparison to that magnificent union we have in Christ. And so the seeming loss of something as profound as all the significant relationships we built up in life becomes as nothing.

That sounds really grand, but for someone like me who is in the process of being in a marriage, it is downright offensive to be told that marriage serves as a higher form of fellowship, whose unique selling point is pro-creation as well as a legit reason to have sex. I place a very high premium on my marriage because I know I share a life with my wife in a way which no other friendship or any other earthly endeavour (ministry, career, or any other achievement) can ever trump. Next to God, there is nothing more important to me than my wife, and nothing I won’t give up for her. To be told that such a bond is actually extremely transient is not only discouraging, it is outright offensive.

Of course, when I talk about marriage, I extend this to eventually mean the whole family unit. How often do we get all teary eyed at the thought of one day seeing our loved ones again in heaven? And how often do we hear that in church eulogies, with the speaker exhorting that for the Christian with hopes of eternal life, parting is temporal for we shall one day all meet again? The draconic theologian might feel a spiritual compulsion to correct the speaker that such a reunion has been badly misrepresented. For when we meet again, we shall no longer recognize each other at all. We shall only be like Communist sheep, recognising that we all share a common identity of having returned to the Motherland.

If you find that image offensive, trust me. I feel the same way.

As I watched the theme repeated again and again in the show about how passing over to the afterlife means the total wiping of all memories, the most realistic part of the show would be the pain embodied by every one of those left behind. Its painful to know that all the deep and meaningful relationships and memories built up over the precious moments together will be rendered empty all in one fell swoop. If I was lucky enough to meet the love of my life, I want nothing more than to be with that person forever. Even if I don’t believe in reincarnation, I want to know that the person I loved on earth would still be someone special to me in heaven.

I also remember a time in church when “multiplying cell groups” was a very hot idea. Everyone had grand notions about how it allowed the church to grow rapidly, fulfilling the grand design of God. I was one of those who protested, recognizing how it repeatedly dilutes the inter-relational dynamics in the cell group. I felt that the church is nothing without the bonds of fellowship. If the relationship within the cell groups are shallow, the church is in a very sad state regardless of the size. Back then, I was reprimanded for being too emotional, and not recognizing that the value of the mission to grow the church. But more importantly, I remember being glad I was not alone. People resisted the notion because they feared saying goodbye to relationships that had already been invested in.

Everyone hates to break ties and say goodbye.

So is this a cultural malaise? The over-emoting of ourselves in spiritual matters that focuses more on the self rather than the race which God has set out for us? If I were to focus on the running the race, would it matter less how futile building those deep relationships really are? Maybe we really should expect less from each other and just maintain a surface relationship. One which is sufficient to constitute serving one another, but which does not over-extend ourselves on an endeavour with such a transient reward. Maybe “deep relationships”  really was never intended by God. We are only called to a deep relationship with Him after all.

So maybe I really did get it wrong all this while, and therefore all that happened to me was richly deserved. I’m told that self-aggrandizement is especially detested by God, as it takes away all the glory which is actually due to Him.