Lord, so much has been said about Kong Hee and the use/misuse of church funds. So much outrage, condemnations and comments on the internet of the most vitriolic kind have been seen and heard in all quarters. Non-Christians have gleefully attacked your church. Your own people are once again divided amongst themselves, many choosing to cast stones whilst others cast them back. Whether its in Singapore or out of Singapore, the sense of indignation is extreme.
Lord, what exactly breaks your heart in this whole incident?
Are you pleased when you see your people choosing not to condone wrong-doing by speaking out so publicly against him? Are you glad that we are mindful of right and wrong, and carry a righteous indignation when we see your church being smeared because of the sins of a few individuals?
Are you truly pleased when you see this?
Or does it break your heart when you see us trampling under our feet the kind of grace and forgiveness that you modeled for us when the adulteress was brought before you? Does it pain you when you see your church killing its wounded instead of healing and restoring? Does it hurt more than the pain of seeing someone you raised up let you down so spectacularly?
Lord, what breaks your heart when you look down on us?
Forgive us Lord, for still not understanding your love. Forgive us because we still don’t understand that we are fellow sinners in need of the grace that you so freely gave. Forgive us for our pride, in thinking that we are in a position to nail someone else to the cross just like how we nailed you there. Forgive us for presuming that the offence was against us instead of you, and forgetting that the money he might have misused was never ours in the first place.
O Lord, we are indeed so undeserving of your loving kindness. How quickly we forget, how quickly do we turn our eyes away from you, and quickly embrace once more the ways of the world. You want us to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with you, yet we so often do the opposite. We excuse our own sins as “faults”, then accuse others of “sins”, carrying around us the pride that thinks we are in a position to judge.
Lord, help us to see through your eyes. Break us of our pride that we might be transformed into a different person, into that certain kind which you so desire for us to become. Perhaps, when we can achieve that breakthrough, the world will recognize you when they look at us.
Thursday, July 05, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Faith and Prayer
Faith is such an abused word. We throw that word around with seeming conviction, yet it more often than not only leads to confusion. More often than not, we confuse “faith” with a “positive attitude”. Instead of praying that God’s will be done, we muster up all the mental prowess at our disposal, and try to will our prayer requests into effect instead.
So what exactly is prayer? When we are taught to pray in faith, what does that mean? How does it actually work?
I believe that at the core of all this confusion is a fundamentally flawed assumption that to have faith means to believe God will answer according to our requests. If that were true, you’d find me fasting 40 days and 40 nights, asking God for Fiona Xie and a hundred million bucks! Of course we all know that to be a ridiculous request that God won’t answer. (sob sob…)
But the principle behind why God won’t answer such a prayer isn’t because its ridiculous. Its because its not in line with His Kingdom plan. If my marrying Fiona Xie was part of His plan to bring millions to Christ, you can bet my bottom (100 million) dollars that He would have answered my prayers before I even asked! And I firmly believe that this is the fundamental principle behind prayer. That’s why we were taught to pray “according to God’s will”, and Jesus’ prayers said “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” and “Not my will but yours be done”.
I could go on. The Bible is littered with examples of the sort of prayers we should be making, all in the same line of thought. This might sound harsh, but as with all things we slowly realize in our spiritual journey, life is really all about being God-centric instead of being self-centric. In other words, the things we should pray about if we want to pray according to God’s will, should all be about God’s Kingdom.
What about my bad day at work, my injured elbow or my poor aging grandmother in the hospital with pneumonia? Does this mean God doesn’t give a crap, and I shouldn’t bother? Of course not! The bible also says “cast all your cares upon Him because He cares for you.” We should be free to come to God with EVERYTHING that’s in our heart. (Yes, even the lustful thoughts I’m having about Fiona Xie as I type out this blog entry on prayer.)
We should and we must, go to God and be open. After all, it's a dangerous thing to think that we can hide anything from Him. If its legitimate, tell Him. If its not legitimate, confess to Him. But one of the most important exercises in our personal prayer life is to be able to go to God and expose ourselves without any reserve. Doing so doesn’t change a thing as far as God is concerned since He already knows everything, but it sure helps hone our awareness that any pretenses we have all fall away in His presence.
I should stop rambling.
Yes, we need to go to God for everything. There’s nothing wrong there. But we need to do so with the acute awareness of what requests are kingdom-centric, and what requests are self-centric. So what about faith? Does this mean therefore that we can be confident of prayers for kingdom-centric matters to be answered, even if self-centric requests might not? So we can be sure that our prayers for the mission trip ensures everything goes smoothly even if I might not get that promotion I was hoping for?
Wrong again.
We should never ever place our faith in the requests we make, nor place our faith in the belief that God will answer. I might be wrong to be so definitively exclusive here, but I firmly believe that the ONLY faith you should have when you pray, is that GOD IS A GOOD GOD. Here’s how it will look like:
I go to God everyday, praying with all sorts of prayer and petitions, reminding myself that being God-centric is a spiritual discipline. I pray for things that as a self-centric person I normally wouldn’t, and also bring before Him the things on my mind and the desires of my heart. I unload and unleash all of my cares and burdens on Him, sharing with Him like I would with a best friend. Then when its all said and done, I walk away feeling lighter. Do I still have cares and concerns? Of course! Does the tightness on my shoulders remain? Definitely! Has all my problems I prayed about been magically solved? Of course… not!! So what has changed?
I have.
I have spent time with the Almighty God, and counted it a privilege that He allows me to approach Him like this. I count it a blessing that He would care about things with practically zero cosmic consequences, but it matters to Him simply because it matters to me. And even though everything seems to have remained the same from ten minutes ago when I started praying, I have changed. I am reminded that God is a Good God. He is good regardless of whether or not He answers any of the requests I had just put before Him. He is good not because of what He will be doing for me. He is good even if NOTHING I pray for from now on gets answered.
He is good because of what He did for me in the past – He went on the cross to show how much He loves me. I need no further proof of that. And so even if He doesn’t answer my prayers, my faith isn’t shaken. I don’t need my prayers to be answered to decide if He is still a good God. I already know He is. And knowing how good He is, spurs me on towards being even more God-centric, both in my life and in my prayers.
And THAT, I believe, is what faith really should be.
So what exactly is prayer? When we are taught to pray in faith, what does that mean? How does it actually work?
I believe that at the core of all this confusion is a fundamentally flawed assumption that to have faith means to believe God will answer according to our requests. If that were true, you’d find me fasting 40 days and 40 nights, asking God for Fiona Xie and a hundred million bucks! Of course we all know that to be a ridiculous request that God won’t answer. (sob sob…)
But the principle behind why God won’t answer such a prayer isn’t because its ridiculous. Its because its not in line with His Kingdom plan. If my marrying Fiona Xie was part of His plan to bring millions to Christ, you can bet my bottom (100 million) dollars that He would have answered my prayers before I even asked! And I firmly believe that this is the fundamental principle behind prayer. That’s why we were taught to pray “according to God’s will”, and Jesus’ prayers said “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” and “Not my will but yours be done”.
I could go on. The Bible is littered with examples of the sort of prayers we should be making, all in the same line of thought. This might sound harsh, but as with all things we slowly realize in our spiritual journey, life is really all about being God-centric instead of being self-centric. In other words, the things we should pray about if we want to pray according to God’s will, should all be about God’s Kingdom.
What about my bad day at work, my injured elbow or my poor aging grandmother in the hospital with pneumonia? Does this mean God doesn’t give a crap, and I shouldn’t bother? Of course not! The bible also says “cast all your cares upon Him because He cares for you.” We should be free to come to God with EVERYTHING that’s in our heart. (Yes, even the lustful thoughts I’m having about Fiona Xie as I type out this blog entry on prayer.)
We should and we must, go to God and be open. After all, it's a dangerous thing to think that we can hide anything from Him. If its legitimate, tell Him. If its not legitimate, confess to Him. But one of the most important exercises in our personal prayer life is to be able to go to God and expose ourselves without any reserve. Doing so doesn’t change a thing as far as God is concerned since He already knows everything, but it sure helps hone our awareness that any pretenses we have all fall away in His presence.
I should stop rambling.
Yes, we need to go to God for everything. There’s nothing wrong there. But we need to do so with the acute awareness of what requests are kingdom-centric, and what requests are self-centric. So what about faith? Does this mean therefore that we can be confident of prayers for kingdom-centric matters to be answered, even if self-centric requests might not? So we can be sure that our prayers for the mission trip ensures everything goes smoothly even if I might not get that promotion I was hoping for?
Wrong again.
We should never ever place our faith in the requests we make, nor place our faith in the belief that God will answer. I might be wrong to be so definitively exclusive here, but I firmly believe that the ONLY faith you should have when you pray, is that GOD IS A GOOD GOD. Here’s how it will look like:
I go to God everyday, praying with all sorts of prayer and petitions, reminding myself that being God-centric is a spiritual discipline. I pray for things that as a self-centric person I normally wouldn’t, and also bring before Him the things on my mind and the desires of my heart. I unload and unleash all of my cares and burdens on Him, sharing with Him like I would with a best friend. Then when its all said and done, I walk away feeling lighter. Do I still have cares and concerns? Of course! Does the tightness on my shoulders remain? Definitely! Has all my problems I prayed about been magically solved? Of course… not!! So what has changed?
I have.
I have spent time with the Almighty God, and counted it a privilege that He allows me to approach Him like this. I count it a blessing that He would care about things with practically zero cosmic consequences, but it matters to Him simply because it matters to me. And even though everything seems to have remained the same from ten minutes ago when I started praying, I have changed. I am reminded that God is a Good God. He is good regardless of whether or not He answers any of the requests I had just put before Him. He is good not because of what He will be doing for me. He is good even if NOTHING I pray for from now on gets answered.
He is good because of what He did for me in the past – He went on the cross to show how much He loves me. I need no further proof of that. And so even if He doesn’t answer my prayers, my faith isn’t shaken. I don’t need my prayers to be answered to decide if He is still a good God. I already know He is. And knowing how good He is, spurs me on towards being even more God-centric, both in my life and in my prayers.
And THAT, I believe, is what faith really should be.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Why train Disruptions Are A Big Deal
Singaporeans
Two stereotypes attributed to Singaporeans, are that of being too pampered/sheltered, and that of being overly fond of complaining. And even though that is tragically true way too often for my liking, I do feel that the uproar over the train disruptions are actually well justified, and not another just another instance of “Singaporeans being Singaporeans once more”. And this is why I think so:
Comparisons
One of the most commonly heard arguments against the uproar is that it is actually very common in other countries. If Tokyo and New York suffer constant train disruptions and don’t make a big deal, why are we complaining? Well, the fact is, I’m not just comparing with countries with a poorer track record. I’m not even comparing it with countries out there that might have a better track record than us (Germany and Switzerland come to mind). The fact is, every country’s transport system has its strengths. Some come on time and run like clockwork, some have a very efficient system, and others run for years without ever breaking down. And I understand that in return for such strengths, there are tradeoffs in other areas. No system is so spectacular that is trumps everyone else. So let’s not compare with others. I’m only asking that we compare with ourselves, and our past history. A downward spiral over the years surely points to poor management and ineptitude. Copious complaints of an overloaded system that have been ignored for years resulted in a massive breakdown that wasn’t a one-off incident, but actually repeated incidents over numerous days and on numerous service tracks. I believe the resulting public backlash has been pretty much a product of the proverbial ticking time bomb.
It’s a Long Story
I also believe that the public outcry is symptomatic of a population that has been driven to the brink of frustration by the leaders of the country. In other words, we need to look at the outcry from a bigger angle.
There is an unspoken recognition that Singapore is an extremely small hub, where almost all of its private and public leaders originate from a pro-PAP camp. You would hardly ever find anyone with an opposing political ideology occupying any position of significant influence, be it in the public sector or even in the pseudo-private enterprises. So after our senses become numbed to the reeling shocks of our recent failures, from Mas Selamat’s escape to the repeated floodings around our island, outrage has been brewing in the hearts of Singaporeans, flabbergasted at how we can be paying our leaders so much only to hear excuses in return for their repeated flops.
When the Government went against their mandate and built the casinos despite significant public opposition, they not only surrendered their credibility further, they effectively carved up a rift that alienated themselves from the people they promised to serve. When no one in the Government stood up to take responsibility for failings whenever they cropped up, choosing instead to all hide behind the same sorry excuse that “these things happen”, the public soon understood that these people weren’t leaders, they were career politicians.
Perhaps its unfortunate that the SMRT CEO has become the scapegoat for such pent up frustrations. I personally think she came across as being absolutely clueless in her handling of the crisis, and my grouse would more likely be with the committee that hired her. But the fact remains that a disruption of such a scale proved to the straw that broke the camel’s back, and culminated in such a severe uproar that it even prompted the PM to cancel his leave to personally take charge of limiting the damage (further highlighting the incompetence of the CEO at defusing the situation).
In Short
I believe it is too naïve and simplistic to simply chalk this up to a population “pampered by an efficient society who have grown intolerant”. It is the culmination of the growing worry and anger that the country is on a steady decline due to the lack of leadership in the country.
If I were to borrow from Hamlet, I would say many strongly feel that “something is rotten in the state of Singapore”.
Two stereotypes attributed to Singaporeans, are that of being too pampered/sheltered, and that of being overly fond of complaining. And even though that is tragically true way too often for my liking, I do feel that the uproar over the train disruptions are actually well justified, and not another just another instance of “Singaporeans being Singaporeans once more”. And this is why I think so:
Comparisons
One of the most commonly heard arguments against the uproar is that it is actually very common in other countries. If Tokyo and New York suffer constant train disruptions and don’t make a big deal, why are we complaining? Well, the fact is, I’m not just comparing with countries with a poorer track record. I’m not even comparing it with countries out there that might have a better track record than us (Germany and Switzerland come to mind). The fact is, every country’s transport system has its strengths. Some come on time and run like clockwork, some have a very efficient system, and others run for years without ever breaking down. And I understand that in return for such strengths, there are tradeoffs in other areas. No system is so spectacular that is trumps everyone else. So let’s not compare with others. I’m only asking that we compare with ourselves, and our past history. A downward spiral over the years surely points to poor management and ineptitude. Copious complaints of an overloaded system that have been ignored for years resulted in a massive breakdown that wasn’t a one-off incident, but actually repeated incidents over numerous days and on numerous service tracks. I believe the resulting public backlash has been pretty much a product of the proverbial ticking time bomb.
It’s a Long Story
I also believe that the public outcry is symptomatic of a population that has been driven to the brink of frustration by the leaders of the country. In other words, we need to look at the outcry from a bigger angle.
There is an unspoken recognition that Singapore is an extremely small hub, where almost all of its private and public leaders originate from a pro-PAP camp. You would hardly ever find anyone with an opposing political ideology occupying any position of significant influence, be it in the public sector or even in the pseudo-private enterprises. So after our senses become numbed to the reeling shocks of our recent failures, from Mas Selamat’s escape to the repeated floodings around our island, outrage has been brewing in the hearts of Singaporeans, flabbergasted at how we can be paying our leaders so much only to hear excuses in return for their repeated flops.
When the Government went against their mandate and built the casinos despite significant public opposition, they not only surrendered their credibility further, they effectively carved up a rift that alienated themselves from the people they promised to serve. When no one in the Government stood up to take responsibility for failings whenever they cropped up, choosing instead to all hide behind the same sorry excuse that “these things happen”, the public soon understood that these people weren’t leaders, they were career politicians.
Perhaps its unfortunate that the SMRT CEO has become the scapegoat for such pent up frustrations. I personally think she came across as being absolutely clueless in her handling of the crisis, and my grouse would more likely be with the committee that hired her. But the fact remains that a disruption of such a scale proved to the straw that broke the camel’s back, and culminated in such a severe uproar that it even prompted the PM to cancel his leave to personally take charge of limiting the damage (further highlighting the incompetence of the CEO at defusing the situation).
In Short
I believe it is too naïve and simplistic to simply chalk this up to a population “pampered by an efficient society who have grown intolerant”. It is the culmination of the growing worry and anger that the country is on a steady decline due to the lack of leadership in the country.
If I were to borrow from Hamlet, I would say many strongly feel that “something is rotten in the state of Singapore”.
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
A Poignant Weekend
So my birthday came and passed… with each passing year, I increasingly know who are my TRUE friends who still remember to wish me happy birthday, and idiots like Frodo who will prob one day 20 years from now read this and go “Wait a minute…. His birthday is in JULY???”
Anyways, it was a good weekend that just passed, where I visited CEFC again, and was once more struck by just how much this is a church that I would absolutely envision myself going. Once more, I felt that tug in my heart that called me to join the church, and finally stop feeling I’m putting on the Armor of God on Sundays because going to church is like going to war.
Trying hard not to sound like self-aggrandizement here, but the image that God put in me immediately when I again pondered on that temptation, was the story of the Transfiguration. It’s a familiar passage in the Bible, but one I fell in love with after reading Hind’s Feet on High Places. I felt like God was reminding me that the reason why He showed me something better on the mountaintop, was so that I could then once more go back down the valleys to tell the people. Maybe that’s the work He has for me in church.
Or maybe He just wants me to shut up and pray more. I’m sure that won’t hurt anyone.
Grins.
Anyways, it was an AWESOME service. From the powerful testimony by a domestic helper to Edmund Chan’s impassioned plea for the church to once again go back to basics and rediscover a love for God and his Word, and thereby rekindling the passion to tell the Good News, I can only say that it has been a long time since I felt God so powerfully connecting with me. I felt like Job, where after the silence I was hit by God with so many questions about the condition of my own spirit, and the condition of my own walk with Him. Even as the sermon was going on, and even as Edmund Chan was giving the altar call, I felt so much of my life surfacing once more, as if God was calling into account all the things He had shown me before, and asking what had I done with all the talents He had entrusted with me.
I felt myself broken, and crying not because I was touched by the sermon or the service. I felt, at first, a great fear that I had indeed been the servant who had buried the talent in the garden, for fear of failure, and the fear of losing it all. Then all I could feel was shame. Abject, wretched shame at how I had failed to make my life count despite so much that God had given to me. But of course, God who is always a gentleman, never leaves us with that. Once more I felt God reminding me that He is the one who redeems, and the one who restores that which was lost. He is the God who promises that when its all been said and done, all that matters is only that I have loved Him, and let my life reflect that love.
It was a very refreshing service, where I once again found my heart re-tenderized by Him. (Yes, I know the “re-tenderizing of my heart” will never make it into any Top Million Quotable Quotes. But it sound so apt!!)
The upcoming months are not going to be easy. I stand at one of the biggest crossroads of my life, where so many things are going to converge. Graduation, getting a job, getting married, and then my life begins the roller coaster that is ten years late in getting started. Maybe God knows, and so He used this Sunday’s service to remind me to utilize a little prescient hindsight, so that the decisions I make at this crossroad will be ones that demonstrate a love for Him, such that when I look back on my life, I would have been proud of the decisions I made standing at this crossroad.
Anyways, it was a good weekend that just passed, where I visited CEFC again, and was once more struck by just how much this is a church that I would absolutely envision myself going. Once more, I felt that tug in my heart that called me to join the church, and finally stop feeling I’m putting on the Armor of God on Sundays because going to church is like going to war.
Trying hard not to sound like self-aggrandizement here, but the image that God put in me immediately when I again pondered on that temptation, was the story of the Transfiguration. It’s a familiar passage in the Bible, but one I fell in love with after reading Hind’s Feet on High Places. I felt like God was reminding me that the reason why He showed me something better on the mountaintop, was so that I could then once more go back down the valleys to tell the people. Maybe that’s the work He has for me in church.
Or maybe He just wants me to shut up and pray more. I’m sure that won’t hurt anyone.
Grins.
Anyways, it was an AWESOME service. From the powerful testimony by a domestic helper to Edmund Chan’s impassioned plea for the church to once again go back to basics and rediscover a love for God and his Word, and thereby rekindling the passion to tell the Good News, I can only say that it has been a long time since I felt God so powerfully connecting with me. I felt like Job, where after the silence I was hit by God with so many questions about the condition of my own spirit, and the condition of my own walk with Him. Even as the sermon was going on, and even as Edmund Chan was giving the altar call, I felt so much of my life surfacing once more, as if God was calling into account all the things He had shown me before, and asking what had I done with all the talents He had entrusted with me.
I felt myself broken, and crying not because I was touched by the sermon or the service. I felt, at first, a great fear that I had indeed been the servant who had buried the talent in the garden, for fear of failure, and the fear of losing it all. Then all I could feel was shame. Abject, wretched shame at how I had failed to make my life count despite so much that God had given to me. But of course, God who is always a gentleman, never leaves us with that. Once more I felt God reminding me that He is the one who redeems, and the one who restores that which was lost. He is the God who promises that when its all been said and done, all that matters is only that I have loved Him, and let my life reflect that love.
It was a very refreshing service, where I once again found my heart re-tenderized by Him. (Yes, I know the “re-tenderizing of my heart” will never make it into any Top Million Quotable Quotes. But it sound so apt!!)
The upcoming months are not going to be easy. I stand at one of the biggest crossroads of my life, where so many things are going to converge. Graduation, getting a job, getting married, and then my life begins the roller coaster that is ten years late in getting started. Maybe God knows, and so He used this Sunday’s service to remind me to utilize a little prescient hindsight, so that the decisions I make at this crossroad will be ones that demonstrate a love for Him, such that when I look back on my life, I would have been proud of the decisions I made standing at this crossroad.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
If I Only Could Only Say ONE Thing
With all the talk recently about revamping and improving the church, and also the fact that I think we are circling the drain with regards to the Nurture Ministry, I think I’ve more than said my share. I still think that everything I said is important. After all, this is a complex issue that cannot be resolved with something as simple as a New Work Plan. However, I acknowledge that amongst the deluge of my feedback/complaints/constructive comments, there must lie ONE thing that is at the heart of everything else I’ve been trying to articulate.
And I need to find it.
You see, the fastest way to make sure no one notices anything you say, is to say everything. So if I am to ever be able to put my point across, I need to nail down my message.
A few things spring to mind. Firstly, I feel that there are a few things we are doing wrong. Our leadership fellowship (or rather, the lack of) is a glaring issue. We don’t seem to have very clearly defined values, or else we declare one set of values but live by another. The way we push for evangelism is very worrying. And our lack of a working communication model which is adhered to.
Hongli feels increasingly distant, and I think he’s never looked so glum before in church. And that’s worrying, because if there’s no communication between the leaders, then what sort of communication can we expect to ever be filtered down to the masses? I want to pose a challenge to our leaders to be able to have lunch together once a month, and NOT discuss work at all over lunch. I want to see how much of a challenge that is. Yet there is something seriously wrong with such a gathering, if the only topic they can revert back to after the awkward silence kicks in – is to discuss church matters. Of course, its fine to share church experiences. I’m not saying “church” should be a dirty word on such occasions. But if the conversation invariably revolves around the same issues as the meeting agendas, then the lunch has become a working lunch. And that’s really sad.
Our values. We talk about the importance of prayer. Yet our leaders repeatedly fail to show up for our prayer meetings. And its not a case of missing one or two. I think they’ve missed most of the year. We ritualistically mouth the words that our leaders are seeking God together when planning for our future, but all that goes on when they meet up is to discuss amongst themselves. Ask any seminary student and he’ll tell you that there are 2 fundamental ways to seek God – through the Word and through Prayer. Its so simple that I don’t know how else to put it. How is God ever to be moving in the church when the leadership pays merely lip service to our values?
Evangelism. I don’t know how to say this without making it sound bad. But I find how our church pushes for evangelism to be very annoying. And I think its putting the cart before the horse. Evangelism is a natural out working of a love for God. If we don’t spend any time at all teaching people to love God, how are we going to get them to tell others what it means to love God? Instead of nurturing people in their understanding of God, and then providing them with avenues to evangelize, we instead try our level best to get them to go evangelize, thinking that the experience will let them know God and love God. Yet the point is conveniently missed, that experiences generates only good feelings. It is the hard work of study and careful nurture that develops a deep and abiding love.
The last point is probably more of an admin problem. A proper communication model allows the leaders channels by which to be accountable to their sheep. Too often we operate on a need-to-know basis, whereby the involvement of the people merely rests with activities which they turn up for. I guess we need to learn from people in the service sector. As leaders, we need to be accountable to the people. This doesn’t mean simply ensuring that you don’t dip into the church fund to pay for your lunch, or confessing to the church after you do. This also means paying the price of inconvenience to keep the congregation up to date on the strategies and the reasons for the things we do. (My own hunch is that its not merely a question of convenience. IF we were to ever do so, the congregation would be horrified at how haphazardly our decisions and ministry emphasis can be set and then subsequently changed.)
So that’s abt it. The things that I think need fixing in our church. If we can sort them out, I’m sure there’ll be more things to complain over. But at least I could shut up about these things. Grins.
And I need to find it.
You see, the fastest way to make sure no one notices anything you say, is to say everything. So if I am to ever be able to put my point across, I need to nail down my message.
A few things spring to mind. Firstly, I feel that there are a few things we are doing wrong. Our leadership fellowship (or rather, the lack of) is a glaring issue. We don’t seem to have very clearly defined values, or else we declare one set of values but live by another. The way we push for evangelism is very worrying. And our lack of a working communication model which is adhered to.
Hongli feels increasingly distant, and I think he’s never looked so glum before in church. And that’s worrying, because if there’s no communication between the leaders, then what sort of communication can we expect to ever be filtered down to the masses? I want to pose a challenge to our leaders to be able to have lunch together once a month, and NOT discuss work at all over lunch. I want to see how much of a challenge that is. Yet there is something seriously wrong with such a gathering, if the only topic they can revert back to after the awkward silence kicks in – is to discuss church matters. Of course, its fine to share church experiences. I’m not saying “church” should be a dirty word on such occasions. But if the conversation invariably revolves around the same issues as the meeting agendas, then the lunch has become a working lunch. And that’s really sad.
Our values. We talk about the importance of prayer. Yet our leaders repeatedly fail to show up for our prayer meetings. And its not a case of missing one or two. I think they’ve missed most of the year. We ritualistically mouth the words that our leaders are seeking God together when planning for our future, but all that goes on when they meet up is to discuss amongst themselves. Ask any seminary student and he’ll tell you that there are 2 fundamental ways to seek God – through the Word and through Prayer. Its so simple that I don’t know how else to put it. How is God ever to be moving in the church when the leadership pays merely lip service to our values?
Evangelism. I don’t know how to say this without making it sound bad. But I find how our church pushes for evangelism to be very annoying. And I think its putting the cart before the horse. Evangelism is a natural out working of a love for God. If we don’t spend any time at all teaching people to love God, how are we going to get them to tell others what it means to love God? Instead of nurturing people in their understanding of God, and then providing them with avenues to evangelize, we instead try our level best to get them to go evangelize, thinking that the experience will let them know God and love God. Yet the point is conveniently missed, that experiences generates only good feelings. It is the hard work of study and careful nurture that develops a deep and abiding love.
The last point is probably more of an admin problem. A proper communication model allows the leaders channels by which to be accountable to their sheep. Too often we operate on a need-to-know basis, whereby the involvement of the people merely rests with activities which they turn up for. I guess we need to learn from people in the service sector. As leaders, we need to be accountable to the people. This doesn’t mean simply ensuring that you don’t dip into the church fund to pay for your lunch, or confessing to the church after you do. This also means paying the price of inconvenience to keep the congregation up to date on the strategies and the reasons for the things we do. (My own hunch is that its not merely a question of convenience. IF we were to ever do so, the congregation would be horrified at how haphazardly our decisions and ministry emphasis can be set and then subsequently changed.)
So that’s abt it. The things that I think need fixing in our church. If we can sort them out, I’m sure there’ll be more things to complain over. But at least I could shut up about these things. Grins.
Friday, February 04, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Marriage Muses
I’ve just gone through another season of hearing stories from different people, of marriages that have gone horribly awry. The irony, naturally, being that I’ve just taken a MASSIVE step towards marriage myself, after acquiring a BTO flat with Weimin yesterday. As I sit down and think, I find myself asking God what is He trying to say to me?
Coupled with the fact that I had my first conversation with Grace in more than a year not too long ago, I am left with certain things that I keep musing over.
I used to think about marrying Grace all the time. It seemed the most natural thing in the world. I would be singing along to the Beach Boys song “Wouldn’t It be Nice”, and meaning every single word. I thought that as soon as we grew up and were financially viable, we could get married and our lives would be complete. Yet when that part of my life ended, I always assumed that it was the death of a part of me, and my belief in a love that could be so unconditional and true.
But maybe that’s not true. In fact, it seems God is increasingly showing me that He’s still preserving that part of me, and has not allowed it to die. Instead, He wants me to learn to from my mistakes. I am bidden to not awaken love until it so desires. It was sheer immaturity that made me so presumptuous about my previous relationship. The death of that relationship revealed to me just how far away I was from being ready to enter into a marriage. Love in the absence of maturity results in all the broken marriages that I hear of.
And so the recent spate of encounters I had with broken marriages is like a reminder from God not to once more tread in my own footsteps, but to take a good look at myself and ask how I am doing, in terms of preparing myself to be married. Of many recently married couples that I have seen, probably the only 2 that I could say for sure is ready to step up and lead in a marriage, would be Art and Yibin.
So with all these different factors for me to use to contrast against, (my failed r/s, all the broken marriages around me, the cloud of witnesses before me like Art and Yibin, my own current state of readiness, and what God seems to be leading me towards), I think there’s plenty for me to think about. I need to not procrastinate for the sake of procrastination, but I also shouldn’t rush headlong into marriage just because everyone says it’s the “next thing to do”.
That way, when I know God is telling me that I am ready, and Weimin is ready, I will really be ready to take the next step.
Coupled with the fact that I had my first conversation with Grace in more than a year not too long ago, I am left with certain things that I keep musing over.
I used to think about marrying Grace all the time. It seemed the most natural thing in the world. I would be singing along to the Beach Boys song “Wouldn’t It be Nice”, and meaning every single word. I thought that as soon as we grew up and were financially viable, we could get married and our lives would be complete. Yet when that part of my life ended, I always assumed that it was the death of a part of me, and my belief in a love that could be so unconditional and true.
But maybe that’s not true. In fact, it seems God is increasingly showing me that He’s still preserving that part of me, and has not allowed it to die. Instead, He wants me to learn to from my mistakes. I am bidden to not awaken love until it so desires. It was sheer immaturity that made me so presumptuous about my previous relationship. The death of that relationship revealed to me just how far away I was from being ready to enter into a marriage. Love in the absence of maturity results in all the broken marriages that I hear of.
And so the recent spate of encounters I had with broken marriages is like a reminder from God not to once more tread in my own footsteps, but to take a good look at myself and ask how I am doing, in terms of preparing myself to be married. Of many recently married couples that I have seen, probably the only 2 that I could say for sure is ready to step up and lead in a marriage, would be Art and Yibin.
So with all these different factors for me to use to contrast against, (my failed r/s, all the broken marriages around me, the cloud of witnesses before me like Art and Yibin, my own current state of readiness, and what God seems to be leading me towards), I think there’s plenty for me to think about. I need to not procrastinate for the sake of procrastination, but I also shouldn’t rush headlong into marriage just because everyone says it’s the “next thing to do”.
That way, when I know God is telling me that I am ready, and Weimin is ready, I will really be ready to take the next step.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
A Return to Biblical Worship!
Pastor Zhang again delivered a cracking sermon on Sunday, about the need for us to worship God in the way that He has dictated to us. In other words, he was exhorting us to return to Biblical Worship, as opposed to merely a diluted worship.
What a great sermon to follow up on his Nehemiah series! To doubly sweeten the whole experience, he was actually revealing the theme of 2011 for the church. “To return to Biblical Worship”. Usually, when he introduces the church’s theme for the year, I expect 45 minutes of agenda pushing to come up, something which I never did like. Yet this time, he managed to brilliantly marry the agenda with biblical exposition. The end result? A Word-centered sermon that called on people to respond to God, which coincided nicely with a theme that also calls for a return to the Word.
My heart was singing with gladness, since I was recently pushing for the Nurture Committee to take a good hard look at the level of biblical literacy we currently have in church, and to make that a priority for this year.
In my heart, I again heard the whisper of Edmund Chan, as he firmly declared that God is good, God is in control, and God will bring it to pass”!!
What a great sermon to follow up on his Nehemiah series! To doubly sweeten the whole experience, he was actually revealing the theme of 2011 for the church. “To return to Biblical Worship”. Usually, when he introduces the church’s theme for the year, I expect 45 minutes of agenda pushing to come up, something which I never did like. Yet this time, he managed to brilliantly marry the agenda with biblical exposition. The end result? A Word-centered sermon that called on people to respond to God, which coincided nicely with a theme that also calls for a return to the Word.
My heart was singing with gladness, since I was recently pushing for the Nurture Committee to take a good hard look at the level of biblical literacy we currently have in church, and to make that a priority for this year.
In my heart, I again heard the whisper of Edmund Chan, as he firmly declared that God is good, God is in control, and God will bring it to pass”!!
Monday, January 03, 2011
My First Ramble for the New Year!
Not too long ago, I was having a sort of conversation with someone in church, trying to get him/her to serve in a capacity that would require that person to be on stage.
I never expected the reply to be so familiar, since invariably the excuses I’m used to are usually the alleged lack of time or talent. Yet this person told me, “Its very stressful to be up there, where I feel that everyone is looking at me and listening to me. I have to try and practice so hard before I go up, that I get so stressed up over the whole business.”
Its familiar sounding because I realize that unknowingly, I have been leading worship for close to 9 years now, if not more. And the greatest resentment I had towards the church and towards my having to serve in that capacity, had to do with the fact that I felt very “judged”.
Worship is supposed to be about playing to an audience of One. It should never have been about me, my musicians, or about the quality of our music. Of course, if what we say is theologically wrong, or we have stumbled others by our words, then we should rightly be censured. However, I felt keenly the fact that people were more concerned with the quality of my “performance”, instead of focusing on the authenticity of my worship.
I would worry about singing off-pitch. I would be worried that people could not stand my broken Chinese. I would worry that my prayers and sharing sounded immature. I would worry that I had picked the wrong response song and people would be thinking how stupid I was to not pick a more appropriate one. I had so many worries, and it would make me literally sick to the stomach. People didn’t realize how much I appreciated the wooden pulpit in the chapel, since it hid my violently trembling legs every time I was on stage. I was terrified on every Sunday that I had to lead worship, and I resented that greatly. (And that’s not considering the previous trauma of having to PLAY for service!)
Today, I still struggle with the same things. Its still very hard for me to be on stage. Very few people realize how much I detest the experience, since I apparently wear a very convincing mask whenever I’m up there, but even after more than 9 years, having to be up there wearies me greatly.
I used to simply chalk it down to the fact that I’m actually a very fiercely introverted creature. Every single personality test I’ve taken can attest to it. And so I found it very natural that I would shun the stage. Yet after my conversation the other day, I suddenly wondered if my loathing towards the stage could also be a product of the culture that the church has.
If we had a culture of focusing more on what builds a person up instead of merely what is apparently “the right way”, if we had a lesser fixation on “excellence” and a greater emphasis on encouragement, if we placed building up a person on a higher priority than mere cosmetic achievements, MAYBE… maybe… maybe more people would have been willing to step up in church and serve, and maybe I would have been more comfortable on stage than I now am.
Being at Fort Canning, we now have a chance to break that mould. Old habits die hard, but I’m beginning to see a lot of encouraging signs that we’re moving in the right direction. But its so easy to stumble and lose our way at any time, once we get lost in the process and forget about the end-goal. So I guess that’s my prayer request for this year, for the church.
I pray that we’ll always always always love the people of God, more than we love the programs and agendas that we have in church. And so I will need to pray for our leaders, that they can keep a clear head, and focus on what’s of true significance.
P.S., I’m happy to say that the conversation had a happy ending. The person I was speaking to messaged me the other day, accepting the offer to serve on stage. The message said “I can only offer up my time to prepare, and leave all else to Him.”
I could not have summed it up better myself.
I never expected the reply to be so familiar, since invariably the excuses I’m used to are usually the alleged lack of time or talent. Yet this person told me, “Its very stressful to be up there, where I feel that everyone is looking at me and listening to me. I have to try and practice so hard before I go up, that I get so stressed up over the whole business.”
Its familiar sounding because I realize that unknowingly, I have been leading worship for close to 9 years now, if not more. And the greatest resentment I had towards the church and towards my having to serve in that capacity, had to do with the fact that I felt very “judged”.
Worship is supposed to be about playing to an audience of One. It should never have been about me, my musicians, or about the quality of our music. Of course, if what we say is theologically wrong, or we have stumbled others by our words, then we should rightly be censured. However, I felt keenly the fact that people were more concerned with the quality of my “performance”, instead of focusing on the authenticity of my worship.
I would worry about singing off-pitch. I would be worried that people could not stand my broken Chinese. I would worry that my prayers and sharing sounded immature. I would worry that I had picked the wrong response song and people would be thinking how stupid I was to not pick a more appropriate one. I had so many worries, and it would make me literally sick to the stomach. People didn’t realize how much I appreciated the wooden pulpit in the chapel, since it hid my violently trembling legs every time I was on stage. I was terrified on every Sunday that I had to lead worship, and I resented that greatly. (And that’s not considering the previous trauma of having to PLAY for service!)
Today, I still struggle with the same things. Its still very hard for me to be on stage. Very few people realize how much I detest the experience, since I apparently wear a very convincing mask whenever I’m up there, but even after more than 9 years, having to be up there wearies me greatly.
I used to simply chalk it down to the fact that I’m actually a very fiercely introverted creature. Every single personality test I’ve taken can attest to it. And so I found it very natural that I would shun the stage. Yet after my conversation the other day, I suddenly wondered if my loathing towards the stage could also be a product of the culture that the church has.
If we had a culture of focusing more on what builds a person up instead of merely what is apparently “the right way”, if we had a lesser fixation on “excellence” and a greater emphasis on encouragement, if we placed building up a person on a higher priority than mere cosmetic achievements, MAYBE… maybe… maybe more people would have been willing to step up in church and serve, and maybe I would have been more comfortable on stage than I now am.
Being at Fort Canning, we now have a chance to break that mould. Old habits die hard, but I’m beginning to see a lot of encouraging signs that we’re moving in the right direction. But its so easy to stumble and lose our way at any time, once we get lost in the process and forget about the end-goal. So I guess that’s my prayer request for this year, for the church.
I pray that we’ll always always always love the people of God, more than we love the programs and agendas that we have in church. And so I will need to pray for our leaders, that they can keep a clear head, and focus on what’s of true significance.
P.S., I’m happy to say that the conversation had a happy ending. The person I was speaking to messaged me the other day, accepting the offer to serve on stage. The message said “I can only offer up my time to prepare, and leave all else to Him.”
I could not have summed it up better myself.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Superman and the Advent
Now that my exams are over, I’ve had a little more time to examine the season of Advent, which we’re supposed to be focusing on this time of the year.
Yesterday, as I was re-watching the latest version of the superman movie in the post-Christopher Reeves generation, one of the lines in the movie struck a very deep chord in me. I have no idea why it didn’t register when I first watched it 4 years ago, but this time round, it sure stayed with me.
Lois Lane, in the prolonged absence of Superman, had written a Pulitzer-winning article out of sheer pique, titled “Why the World Does Not Need Superman”.
So one fine day when Superman literally appeared out of the sky, he carried Lois Lane high up and right above the Metropolis, and asked her if she hears anything. Naturally, she doesn’t. And he says to her, that he does. He hears everything. Then he gives her the one liner that really screamed for my attention.
He said: “You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.”
And it suddenly clicked in my mind, that what he just said summed up perfectly the spirit of Advent!! This is the season, where we are once more reminded that this world needs a savior, just as it needed a savior more than 2000 years ago.
I guess there is nothing in this life that we do not become numb to, at some point or another, unless we make the effort to especially retain its significance. And I think this season of the Advent, I have Superman to thank, for helping me to once again be reminded that the Advent is as real today as it was more than 2000 years ago. If nothing else, today we are more in need of a savior than we have ever been.
Yesterday, as I was re-watching the latest version of the superman movie in the post-Christopher Reeves generation, one of the lines in the movie struck a very deep chord in me. I have no idea why it didn’t register when I first watched it 4 years ago, but this time round, it sure stayed with me.
Lois Lane, in the prolonged absence of Superman, had written a Pulitzer-winning article out of sheer pique, titled “Why the World Does Not Need Superman”.
So one fine day when Superman literally appeared out of the sky, he carried Lois Lane high up and right above the Metropolis, and asked her if she hears anything. Naturally, she doesn’t. And he says to her, that he does. He hears everything. Then he gives her the one liner that really screamed for my attention.
He said: “You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.”
And it suddenly clicked in my mind, that what he just said summed up perfectly the spirit of Advent!! This is the season, where we are once more reminded that this world needs a savior, just as it needed a savior more than 2000 years ago.
I guess there is nothing in this life that we do not become numb to, at some point or another, unless we make the effort to especially retain its significance. And I think this season of the Advent, I have Superman to thank, for helping me to once again be reminded that the Advent is as real today as it was more than 2000 years ago. If nothing else, today we are more in need of a savior than we have ever been.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Crap Sunday
Today was the last service of the year. And it was the Christmas Message that was supposed to round off the Season of Advent, and usher in the new year. And maybe its because I had some higher expectations of my sunday service, that drove me to be so angry.
The passage today was Luke 2:25-35. Its about Simeon, and how he was the first to greet Jesus as the Messiah. What a great passage to be speaking on, to conclude the whole Season of Advent! That is, until my pastor somehow failed to get the memo, and seemingly missed the bigger picture.
He proceeded to give a sermon entitled "Your Time Is Now", and did nothing except deliver a Chicken Soup For The Soul session for 30 minutes. Some of his greatest hits include "Peter knew his moment had come, that's why he stepped out of the boat and walked out on to the water!". There was no scriptural referencing to the passage at all. Instead, he seemed to only have one point to make: "No manner how your life is shaping up to be, God still wants to bless and prosper you. AND YOUR TIME IS NOW. Are you willing to embrace THE MOMENT and respond to God?"
Never mind that there was neither any reference to the passage (He could have also read from the passage of Peter walking on water to deliver the same drivel), nor any reference at all to Christmas or the Advent. He seemed intent on merely stretching his one-point message as long as he could, with one out-of-context biblical example after another.
I know its Christmas, and I know he's dead tired. I should be more understanding. But I think even if he had opened up Matthew Henry's bible commentary and merely read from it, he'd have been 100% more faithful to the Word than he was this morning.
And I was musing to myself that my most likely course of action when I'm tired would be to seek out my comfort zone and count on stuff I'm good at to supplement my lack of time and energy to properly prepare. And if that was what he did, then I guess his Chicken Soup for the Soul message today only proves my point about how he doesn't really fancy the faithful exposition of the Word, but instead prefers the cosmetic exhortations that is more usually associated with more "liberal" churches.
I know I shouldn't be angry, but after all of us worked so hard to highlight the Advent, having this to end off the year leaves a very bitter taste in the mouth.
Monday, December 06, 2010
Wikileaks? What Problem?
A sudden idea that came into my head, inspired by how there are so many fake torrents that studios flood the web with, in order to deter users from downloading their media content.
Instead of trying so hard to pin allegations of rape on Assange, wouldn't it be so much easier for Governments to simply launch a massive misdirection campaign to discredit Wikileaks? Just hack into the website or create fake versions of Wikileaks with heaps of fake data, so that it actually loses credibility or public interest?
Grins.
Instead of trying so hard to pin allegations of rape on Assange, wouldn't it be so much easier for Governments to simply launch a massive misdirection campaign to discredit Wikileaks? Just hack into the website or create fake versions of Wikileaks with heaps of fake data, so that it actually loses credibility or public interest?
Grins.
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Wikileaks Saga
The talk of the town for the past few days has been of Wikileaks, and how their release of a whole tonnage of US Govt cables has resulted in so much attention.
I wasn't so much interested in the content of the leak, as I was in the response people had towards the leaks. Predictably, there was the usual criticism by the parties that were affected or embarrassed by the leaks. Then there were those that supported Wikileaks, praising them for their efforts, and defending their actions by insisting that the Govt should be transparent in what they do. Most of the rest of us were just intrigued by the whole saga, being a bystander who absorbed whatever was being reported in the media, without actually coming out in support of it, or against it.
But here is where my own ideology comes into play: This is a perfect example of why I believe that democracy is not always the best option to pursue. I may be wrong, but I believe that it was Aristotle who said that the masses are like sheep, too stupid to know what's really good for them. Democracy assumes that everyone is perfectly capable of making good and socially responsible decisions, instead of selfish and irresponsible decisions. It supposes that everyone is able to think through situations, and come up with a sensible conclusion.
Of course we know that's not going to happen! Look at American Idol, for example. So often we look on with incredulity at how less talented performers advance whilst the more talented ones are the shock eliminations. When it simply becomes about the popular vote, and a case of "who is better at brainwashing", then the decision that results is seldom one that is sensible, right nor socially responsible.
Wikileaks might have been a good concept, albeit Utopianistic. Yet when it was acted upon, it became a double-edged tool. It brought to attention corruption that was hitherto covered up, highligted the need for humanitarian aid in some parts of the world, but also exposed a lot of people to harm's way. Naturally, the organisation takes a lot of credit for the good things done, but shirks responsibility towards any liabilities they cause. In the case of the Iraq War Diaries, they cleverly shifted the blame to Amnesty International, deflecting any blame at themselves towards them. When they were asked to censor names of personnel at at risk of losing their lives, they pushed the responsibility of doing so to a few organisations, and yet when these organisations didn't do so, they insist that they were therefore not responsible anymore for their own actions.
Yet such behavior is the ultimate result of democracy in action. People feel free to rid themselves of all social responsibility in the name of "freedom of expression". By condemning any form of censorship, they think they are therefore free to behave in any manner they please, as long as there is a group of people coming out in support of it. Any attempt at restricting its actions or behavior is inevitably met with some form of public disapproval, and since ALL public opinion counts, there is inevitably no sense of a "right behavior" anymore.
The implications of such a social system is frightening to behold. A world where right and wrong is relegated to relativity allows me to get away with anything, as long as I can convince enough people. Such a system will always be approved by men, since whatever restricts us the least is always the most attractive. Yet when we ourselves are on the receiving end of harm done to us, we will find out too late that we have become the victims of the system we helped create.
And that is exactly where the U.S. Govt finds itself right now.
Serves them right?
Maybe.
Its a relative opinion, after all.
I wasn't so much interested in the content of the leak, as I was in the response people had towards the leaks. Predictably, there was the usual criticism by the parties that were affected or embarrassed by the leaks. Then there were those that supported Wikileaks, praising them for their efforts, and defending their actions by insisting that the Govt should be transparent in what they do. Most of the rest of us were just intrigued by the whole saga, being a bystander who absorbed whatever was being reported in the media, without actually coming out in support of it, or against it.
But here is where my own ideology comes into play: This is a perfect example of why I believe that democracy is not always the best option to pursue. I may be wrong, but I believe that it was Aristotle who said that the masses are like sheep, too stupid to know what's really good for them. Democracy assumes that everyone is perfectly capable of making good and socially responsible decisions, instead of selfish and irresponsible decisions. It supposes that everyone is able to think through situations, and come up with a sensible conclusion.
Of course we know that's not going to happen! Look at American Idol, for example. So often we look on with incredulity at how less talented performers advance whilst the more talented ones are the shock eliminations. When it simply becomes about the popular vote, and a case of "who is better at brainwashing", then the decision that results is seldom one that is sensible, right nor socially responsible.
Wikileaks might have been a good concept, albeit Utopianistic. Yet when it was acted upon, it became a double-edged tool. It brought to attention corruption that was hitherto covered up, highligted the need for humanitarian aid in some parts of the world, but also exposed a lot of people to harm's way. Naturally, the organisation takes a lot of credit for the good things done, but shirks responsibility towards any liabilities they cause. In the case of the Iraq War Diaries, they cleverly shifted the blame to Amnesty International, deflecting any blame at themselves towards them. When they were asked to censor names of personnel at at risk of losing their lives, they pushed the responsibility of doing so to a few organisations, and yet when these organisations didn't do so, they insist that they were therefore not responsible anymore for their own actions.
Yet such behavior is the ultimate result of democracy in action. People feel free to rid themselves of all social responsibility in the name of "freedom of expression". By condemning any form of censorship, they think they are therefore free to behave in any manner they please, as long as there is a group of people coming out in support of it. Any attempt at restricting its actions or behavior is inevitably met with some form of public disapproval, and since ALL public opinion counts, there is inevitably no sense of a "right behavior" anymore.
The implications of such a social system is frightening to behold. A world where right and wrong is relegated to relativity allows me to get away with anything, as long as I can convince enough people. Such a system will always be approved by men, since whatever restricts us the least is always the most attractive. Yet when we ourselves are on the receiving end of harm done to us, we will find out too late that we have become the victims of the system we helped create.
And that is exactly where the U.S. Govt finds itself right now.
Serves them right?
Maybe.
Its a relative opinion, after all.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
How Now, Brown Cow?
Lately the topic about church keeps creeping up. So I’m using this space as an avenue to straighten my thoughts.
The church needs to distinguish itself from being a mere social gathering. Sometimes, we tend to borrow things from our work and from social events, thinking that there are some very useful skills/methods we can employ, that will be of help. And they’re really helpful. Sometimes, so much so that we end up forgetting we need to be more than merely a social gathering.
What’s the difference? Its all about the motor that drives the vehicle.
Right now, I see a lot of programs being organized. Attendance is dropping? We’ll organize gatherings, have tea refreshments, celebrate events, have camps, do outreach. Lots of programs. We think that by implementing the right system, the problem is solved. Then when nothing much changes, we put the blame on the system, or the implementation. So we try even harder, come up with better programs, newer activities, increase the budget, and rally more.
My take? There’s nothing wrong with the program. The problem is with the motivating factor.
All this while, NOBODY would contest the statement that it is the Word of God that gives life to the church. After all, who could be THAT stupid?? We all know that is true!! Yet we seem to suffer from chronic blindness when we are running our ministries. We spend a lot of time equipping our people in skills or ministry, and hardly any time at all in nurturing people to grow in the Word. The two most common platforms for teaching – the pulpit and the life group, have been mostly reduced to pep talk sessions, where we don’t ground people in the Word of God, merely in the “10 steps to being an effective Christian”.
Instead of teaching, we merely equip.
(Just to further distinguish the two – When we equip someone, the implication is that we are preparing someone to DO the work. When we teach and nurture someone, we are giving the people the ENERGY to do the work. So do the math, and you’ll see that equipping is seldom the problem. People with energy will find ways to equip themselves. People with no energy won’t move even with the best equipment.)
Sure, we have Sunday school. But how do you convince the congregation that the Word is central, when we so blatantly marginalize it on the pulpit and in our life groups? In fact, if we did a word count of everything said on the pulpit, we’ll find that we spend more time pushing programs, than emphasizing the importance of God’s Word. Its almost as if we have an attitude where we take it for granted that the Word is most important, so we ignore it and just go straight to our agendas.
Its no wonder that people don’t respond when we rally them to serve. They have nothing in them to give!! We don’t feed them properly, leaving them malnourished. Then without a proper support system in place, we spend all our resources trying to invite more people into church where they proceed to tax the system further. To borrow an analogy from the finance sector, its akin to living life on credit when expenditure dramatically outweighs income. Someday, the whole market is going to crash, and there will be hell to pay.
Its been three years now, since we’ve been pushing for better support and structure for the life group ministry. We have a few groups in crisis-state. Our leaders are always left to fend for themselves, and nothing much has been done at all. Instead, we channel our energies on the new church building, on missions, on Life Games, on events, and think that by having all these other activities, we can paper over the cracks that are staring at us in the face.
The saddest thing is, we’ve become so far lost, that we don’t even know what the real deal looks like anymore. That’s why nobody knows how to address the problem. Its like the time when we dissolved youth fellowship for a few years, and totally lost the culture. The tragedy that resulted was having something so precious lost, and even till now, the youths never did manage to regain what was once there. I’m afraid that it’s the same thing happening now to us with regards to the Word. Nobody knows anymore what its like to have a Word-centered congregation. Nobody seems to know how to build such a congregation anymore. So we make feeble attempts at addressing the problem (e.g., using DVDS to supplement the teaching in life groups, have Sunday school to compensate for the lack of teaching…), and then go back again to the comforts of doing what we’re comfortable with – programs.
And I’m also equally lost as to how to go about it. The best face I can place on what I’m feeling now, is to call it what Bill Hybels labels as a “Holy Discontent”. Of course, maybe its just me being a complain king. But I do believe that this is the key to reviving our congregation. I think what we really need now is a King Josiah, someone who restores the centrality of the Word to its primary place. Only then can there be genuine repentance, and only then will the Lord find favor with us.
Of course, if I were to raise this matter up to the leadership, I will be told that things are not that simple. And as much as I used to scorn such an answer, I’ve come to know that they’re just being honest. Life presents just so many variables that nothing is as clear-cut as we make it out to be. As if I’m not in their shoes, its unfair of me to just sit where I am and point fingers.
But that brings us back again to square one. How now, brown cow?
The church needs to distinguish itself from being a mere social gathering. Sometimes, we tend to borrow things from our work and from social events, thinking that there are some very useful skills/methods we can employ, that will be of help. And they’re really helpful. Sometimes, so much so that we end up forgetting we need to be more than merely a social gathering.
What’s the difference? Its all about the motor that drives the vehicle.
Right now, I see a lot of programs being organized. Attendance is dropping? We’ll organize gatherings, have tea refreshments, celebrate events, have camps, do outreach. Lots of programs. We think that by implementing the right system, the problem is solved. Then when nothing much changes, we put the blame on the system, or the implementation. So we try even harder, come up with better programs, newer activities, increase the budget, and rally more.
My take? There’s nothing wrong with the program. The problem is with the motivating factor.
All this while, NOBODY would contest the statement that it is the Word of God that gives life to the church. After all, who could be THAT stupid?? We all know that is true!! Yet we seem to suffer from chronic blindness when we are running our ministries. We spend a lot of time equipping our people in skills or ministry, and hardly any time at all in nurturing people to grow in the Word. The two most common platforms for teaching – the pulpit and the life group, have been mostly reduced to pep talk sessions, where we don’t ground people in the Word of God, merely in the “10 steps to being an effective Christian”.
Instead of teaching, we merely equip.
(Just to further distinguish the two – When we equip someone, the implication is that we are preparing someone to DO the work. When we teach and nurture someone, we are giving the people the ENERGY to do the work. So do the math, and you’ll see that equipping is seldom the problem. People with energy will find ways to equip themselves. People with no energy won’t move even with the best equipment.)
Sure, we have Sunday school. But how do you convince the congregation that the Word is central, when we so blatantly marginalize it on the pulpit and in our life groups? In fact, if we did a word count of everything said on the pulpit, we’ll find that we spend more time pushing programs, than emphasizing the importance of God’s Word. Its almost as if we have an attitude where we take it for granted that the Word is most important, so we ignore it and just go straight to our agendas.
Its no wonder that people don’t respond when we rally them to serve. They have nothing in them to give!! We don’t feed them properly, leaving them malnourished. Then without a proper support system in place, we spend all our resources trying to invite more people into church where they proceed to tax the system further. To borrow an analogy from the finance sector, its akin to living life on credit when expenditure dramatically outweighs income. Someday, the whole market is going to crash, and there will be hell to pay.
Its been three years now, since we’ve been pushing for better support and structure for the life group ministry. We have a few groups in crisis-state. Our leaders are always left to fend for themselves, and nothing much has been done at all. Instead, we channel our energies on the new church building, on missions, on Life Games, on events, and think that by having all these other activities, we can paper over the cracks that are staring at us in the face.
The saddest thing is, we’ve become so far lost, that we don’t even know what the real deal looks like anymore. That’s why nobody knows how to address the problem. Its like the time when we dissolved youth fellowship for a few years, and totally lost the culture. The tragedy that resulted was having something so precious lost, and even till now, the youths never did manage to regain what was once there. I’m afraid that it’s the same thing happening now to us with regards to the Word. Nobody knows anymore what its like to have a Word-centered congregation. Nobody seems to know how to build such a congregation anymore. So we make feeble attempts at addressing the problem (e.g., using DVDS to supplement the teaching in life groups, have Sunday school to compensate for the lack of teaching…), and then go back again to the comforts of doing what we’re comfortable with – programs.
And I’m also equally lost as to how to go about it. The best face I can place on what I’m feeling now, is to call it what Bill Hybels labels as a “Holy Discontent”. Of course, maybe its just me being a complain king. But I do believe that this is the key to reviving our congregation. I think what we really need now is a King Josiah, someone who restores the centrality of the Word to its primary place. Only then can there be genuine repentance, and only then will the Lord find favor with us.
Of course, if I were to raise this matter up to the leadership, I will be told that things are not that simple. And as much as I used to scorn such an answer, I’ve come to know that they’re just being honest. Life presents just so many variables that nothing is as clear-cut as we make it out to be. As if I’m not in their shoes, its unfair of me to just sit where I am and point fingers.
But that brings us back again to square one. How now, brown cow?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Turbulence
Recently there’s been a lot of opportunity to examine the leadership in church, as we discuss how and what we’re going to do about the chronic stagnation we find ourselves in.
On reflection of everything that was said during that time, I was surprised at how much anger and resentment I found with a lot of the leadership decisions that have been made. I know its easy to target people, and blame it all on Hong Li, the Executive Committee, or even the Elder Board. And I know I’m probably at least half right in the things that I said. But the shooting gallery is always where the cheapest seats are.
Maybe I’m just too much of a greenhorn to know the whole big picture. Maybe that’s really why nobody listens to what I have to say. After all, empty vessels make the most noise. They say that politicians campaign in poetry, and govern in prose. So maybe if I think more in prose instead of poetry, I’d be able to accept the direction that our church is currently heading in. So maybe the real reason why nobody feels the way I do, has to do with me.
Why should anyone listen to a 31 yr old who still hasn’t graduated, who has made a mess of his life, and who until now still hasn’t made anything much out of his whole existence? How dare he talk big, and criticize those who have accomplished so much more than him? How dare he claim to know better, to see clearer, and have the right solution for the complexities of the problems now plaguing the church?
Would I be doing the right thing if I stop making so much noise, and stop being so negative? Would it help more if I start being more positive in my feedback? I’ve always felt that people who only say good things, are ultimately contributing to potentially fatal blind spots. Yet perhaps by comparison, that would still be more helpful than the criticisms that I’ve been making.
What’s the point of giving feedback to people who aren’t interested in listening anyway? People who patronize you when you give your point of view, and who then privately mark you as a dissenter. Perhaps all this while, Henry was the smart one, like so many before him. Just walk away, if you’re not keen on sinking with the ship.
I want to help change things. I really do. And I think even though I may not have been the most hardworking or long suffering member of the church, I have given my fair share of endeavor. But when the leadership paradigm is so fixated on things that I fundamentally disagree with, it is so hard to endorse their leadership. Even harder to offer support and to sweat blood towards it. In Bill Hybels’ words, I’m more like a hired help now, rather than a shepherd.
So I’m again earnestly praying for directions. Asking that either God shows me what else I can do, or where else I can go. Or to otherwise learn anew the practice of submission, knowing that the bigger picture is of me submitting to His will, not anyone else’s.
On reflection of everything that was said during that time, I was surprised at how much anger and resentment I found with a lot of the leadership decisions that have been made. I know its easy to target people, and blame it all on Hong Li, the Executive Committee, or even the Elder Board. And I know I’m probably at least half right in the things that I said. But the shooting gallery is always where the cheapest seats are.
Maybe I’m just too much of a greenhorn to know the whole big picture. Maybe that’s really why nobody listens to what I have to say. After all, empty vessels make the most noise. They say that politicians campaign in poetry, and govern in prose. So maybe if I think more in prose instead of poetry, I’d be able to accept the direction that our church is currently heading in. So maybe the real reason why nobody feels the way I do, has to do with me.
Why should anyone listen to a 31 yr old who still hasn’t graduated, who has made a mess of his life, and who until now still hasn’t made anything much out of his whole existence? How dare he talk big, and criticize those who have accomplished so much more than him? How dare he claim to know better, to see clearer, and have the right solution for the complexities of the problems now plaguing the church?
Would I be doing the right thing if I stop making so much noise, and stop being so negative? Would it help more if I start being more positive in my feedback? I’ve always felt that people who only say good things, are ultimately contributing to potentially fatal blind spots. Yet perhaps by comparison, that would still be more helpful than the criticisms that I’ve been making.
What’s the point of giving feedback to people who aren’t interested in listening anyway? People who patronize you when you give your point of view, and who then privately mark you as a dissenter. Perhaps all this while, Henry was the smart one, like so many before him. Just walk away, if you’re not keen on sinking with the ship.
I want to help change things. I really do. And I think even though I may not have been the most hardworking or long suffering member of the church, I have given my fair share of endeavor. But when the leadership paradigm is so fixated on things that I fundamentally disagree with, it is so hard to endorse their leadership. Even harder to offer support and to sweat blood towards it. In Bill Hybels’ words, I’m more like a hired help now, rather than a shepherd.
So I’m again earnestly praying for directions. Asking that either God shows me what else I can do, or where else I can go. Or to otherwise learn anew the practice of submission, knowing that the bigger picture is of me submitting to His will, not anyone else’s.
Friday, November 12, 2010
About a week ago...
Baby Aaron was born!!!
He has a lot of potential to look as dashing as his uncle...
=)
Happy Birthday, buddy!!!
Monday, November 08, 2010
Updates
This blog has again gone through a long period without any blue moons. Which is why I think its time for an update. Not much of significance has happened in recent months, save two worth mentioning. One was an incident that took place during Sunday service, which Bill Hybels coined as a “this is church” moment, the other being a wedding.
About a month ago, All Saints Prebyterian Church, an English speaking church that worships in the basement of the Bible House, approached us half an hour before service started with a problem of theirs: the air conditioning had broken down, which made Sunday service a very discouraging prospect. Their service is at 10, whilst ours starts at 930 (though I SWEAR many in our congregation thinks it starts at 10).
Anyway, within an amazingly short space of time, we ironed out everything, and the entire All Saints Presbyterian Church congregation duly trooped into our sanctuary, and we pulled off a surprisingly smooth bilingual service. All this from a church that usually take 3 months of deliberation to approve a minor budget adjustment!! I was so proud of my church that day, for the graciousness that we displayed, and also the fact that we were able to pull off the whole thing so well.
Actually, my emotional reaction caught me off guard. I could not figure out why I would make such a big deal out of a seemingly straightforward event, albeit a good one. Then I realized that it might have something to do with just how little I’ve come to expect from the church, that when something like that generates a bit of warmth, I am so moved by what I witnessed. Secondly, I realized it was nostalgia. The whole feeling where as a body we worked together and saw God’s work being done. It has been so long since I last felt/experienced something like that.
I went home feeling just that little bit recharged that day, having been given a physical reminder YET AGAIN of just how much good God can bring out of what I perceive as mere rubble. It seems that despite so many sermons preached on Nehemiah this year, I was still persisting in seeing rubble as nothing more than that. I guess God wanted to give me a more tangible lesson to learn.
The second event worth noting is that Weifeng and Peishan were finally married!!!! It was a very sweet and slightly unconventional wedding, but it bore all the trademarks of both of them: stylish yet understated. No fuss, but a lot of thought had evidently gone into the planning.
So, even though the two of them will probably never read this, kudos to JT and PS for a smash hit wedding!!!
About a month ago, All Saints Prebyterian Church, an English speaking church that worships in the basement of the Bible House, approached us half an hour before service started with a problem of theirs: the air conditioning had broken down, which made Sunday service a very discouraging prospect. Their service is at 10, whilst ours starts at 930 (though I SWEAR many in our congregation thinks it starts at 10).
Anyway, within an amazingly short space of time, we ironed out everything, and the entire All Saints Presbyterian Church congregation duly trooped into our sanctuary, and we pulled off a surprisingly smooth bilingual service. All this from a church that usually take 3 months of deliberation to approve a minor budget adjustment!! I was so proud of my church that day, for the graciousness that we displayed, and also the fact that we were able to pull off the whole thing so well.
Actually, my emotional reaction caught me off guard. I could not figure out why I would make such a big deal out of a seemingly straightforward event, albeit a good one. Then I realized that it might have something to do with just how little I’ve come to expect from the church, that when something like that generates a bit of warmth, I am so moved by what I witnessed. Secondly, I realized it was nostalgia. The whole feeling where as a body we worked together and saw God’s work being done. It has been so long since I last felt/experienced something like that.
I went home feeling just that little bit recharged that day, having been given a physical reminder YET AGAIN of just how much good God can bring out of what I perceive as mere rubble. It seems that despite so many sermons preached on Nehemiah this year, I was still persisting in seeing rubble as nothing more than that. I guess God wanted to give me a more tangible lesson to learn.
The second event worth noting is that Weifeng and Peishan were finally married!!!! It was a very sweet and slightly unconventional wedding, but it bore all the trademarks of both of them: stylish yet understated. No fuss, but a lot of thought had evidently gone into the planning.
So, even though the two of them will probably never read this, kudos to JT and PS for a smash hit wedding!!!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Huh??
Random thoughts at 12:30 in the morning.
What if I go to bed and don’t wake up?
I miss the old kind of playgrounds that I had in my neighborhood when I was 10.
I should have jogged more this week.
Even if there was a cure for my procrastination, I’d probably never get down to actually curing it.
There’s so many jobs I’d have loved to given a try at, and being a counselor would surprisingly have been one of them.
I miss my dad’s old Toyota.
And I REALLY REALLY miss my dog. (I still think I should have dug up the urn containing his ashes when we moved house.)
I think sentimentality is my greatest and most annoying trait and weakness.
I’m failing miserably in my ambition to finish reading a book every 2 months.
I need to be more disciplined in my quiet time and scripture memory. Right now, its erm… not really in existence. Guess the good news is that only way is up.
Whatever happened to the companies that made OHPs and transparencies? Did they many of them suddenly go bust?
I think I’m a terribly unattractive man who has grossly overestimated my ability to be charming and likeable. And my ego has just chosen to reject that statement as being true.
I seem to have hit my quota of movies. All I’m nowadays interested in doing is to watch re-runs. An age thing, maybe?
I haven’t had prata since forever. Ugh. Then why the hell am I still so fat? No wait. Ah yes, it’s the durians. And the damn mooncakes.
I’m beginning to think that I’m not really a techie sort of guy. I can’t rattle of tech specs like many of them do. I’m more of a rave-abt-tech guy, whose thrill is more in wanting to buy it, than actually going ahead to own it.
Somehow, as much as I know bitching abt people is not a very church-leader thing to do, there’s a part of me that loves the hypocrisy of slamming someone here, then offering my brightest smile when I bump into him/her.
Why is it so hard for me to just go lie down on the damn bed and try to sleep?
Yes, I’m having trouble sleeping tonight.
What if I go to bed and don’t wake up?
I miss the old kind of playgrounds that I had in my neighborhood when I was 10.
I should have jogged more this week.
Even if there was a cure for my procrastination, I’d probably never get down to actually curing it.
There’s so many jobs I’d have loved to given a try at, and being a counselor would surprisingly have been one of them.
I miss my dad’s old Toyota.
And I REALLY REALLY miss my dog. (I still think I should have dug up the urn containing his ashes when we moved house.)
I think sentimentality is my greatest and most annoying trait and weakness.
I’m failing miserably in my ambition to finish reading a book every 2 months.
I need to be more disciplined in my quiet time and scripture memory. Right now, its erm… not really in existence. Guess the good news is that only way is up.
Whatever happened to the companies that made OHPs and transparencies? Did they many of them suddenly go bust?
I think I’m a terribly unattractive man who has grossly overestimated my ability to be charming and likeable. And my ego has just chosen to reject that statement as being true.
I seem to have hit my quota of movies. All I’m nowadays interested in doing is to watch re-runs. An age thing, maybe?
I haven’t had prata since forever. Ugh. Then why the hell am I still so fat? No wait. Ah yes, it’s the durians. And the damn mooncakes.
I’m beginning to think that I’m not really a techie sort of guy. I can’t rattle of tech specs like many of them do. I’m more of a rave-abt-tech guy, whose thrill is more in wanting to buy it, than actually going ahead to own it.
Somehow, as much as I know bitching abt people is not a very church-leader thing to do, there’s a part of me that loves the hypocrisy of slamming someone here, then offering my brightest smile when I bump into him/her.
Why is it so hard for me to just go lie down on the damn bed and try to sleep?
Yes, I’m having trouble sleeping tonight.
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