Back To Teen Angst

Been having a lot of nights where I really really can't sleep. So I just gave up on trying. Been doing quite a bit of reading. Couple of really good books, that were pretty much page-turners. Can't rememeber the last time I had on my hands so many books that I was so excited to read. Reading them at home at unearthly hours turned out to be a pretty good idea in the end. Its quiet. No one disturbs you. And its always a little embarrassing to chuckle out loud one minute, then find your eyes all moist the next, all in plain sight of just about everyone else at Starbucks. So yeah. Midnight reading is cool. Grins.

First on the list came highly recommended by Henry. He couldn't stop raving about it when he first got his hands on it. And boy, it certainly didn't disappoint. Its called "The Mystery Of Marriage", by Mike Mason. Its not the kind of title I'd expect to pick up off the shelf on a hunch that it'll be a good read. Turns out it isn't the typical book describing the 7 elements that a marriage must have, and the 10 commandments of marriage that God had instituted in the bible. The author had actually put this book together from his journals, during his period of singlehood, as he contemplated how marriage is such a mystery. It was lyrical, eloquent, and one of those books that I could find things I wanted to highlight on just about every page. And I remember talking to Henry a few times about relationships, some of my thoughts and all. And he kept referring back to the book. Grins. Was pretty amazing to find that someone else out there actually had the same thoughts I did, and even put them down in print. Mebbe I ain't as lame as I always thought I just was.

Another was a book I just picked up today. "A Sacred Sorrow", by Michael Card. I've yet to find anything by Michael Card that I didn't like. This is his latest, a book about how Christians have lost the art of being broken before God, but have always chosen to set up a facade of victory and triumphalism in church. I'm only into the first 6 chapters, and basically he talks about how we many times forget to first be broken before God, but want to move on straight to the victory dance. And how by doing so, we harden the exterior but fail to curb the interior. Need to read more. But I really really love his style of writing. He seems to slip into poetry even as he writes in prose.

A thrid one is a book by F.W. Boreham. Its a book that's just made up of various articles that are basically some of his devotionals. But man, if you even wanted a Max Lucado with some real depth beyond Chicken Soup for the Christan Soul, then F.W. Boreham is the guy. His writings have a way of pricking you right at your heart. Its a great book to bring along to a retreat, and just to read it for quiet time, esp if you find that your moments before God have been really dry. I picked it up at SKS with Henry. There were two books by him, and we were so excited that we each grabbed one. Hehz...

Grins. Yes, if I try and practice more, mebbe my writing will be semi-bearable enough for someone else to hire me to write adverts for them. In the meantime, its 5 and I still can't sleep.

Oh by the way, Bishan Junction 8 will never ever feel the same again. There's a different aura that pervades a particular stretch in there. Paul and I bumped into Fiona Xie there couple of days ago. She looks really petite in real life. But still, the radiance on her face is still there. Grins. I think she was looking around, and caught me and Paul staring at her. Twice.

Muahahahahahaha....

Sigh.

But on a more serious note, these have not exactly been good days. Been feeling slightly feverish, so my body's aching. Haven't been able to sleep, so in the day my mind's awfully slow. Mood's still a little erratic, tho better now. And it seems that every corner I turn lately, I see a couple holding hands. It's almost like this is the season when God's throwing it right in my face. Sigh. Ah well. Many many more years of that to come, Peng. Unless you find a real sucker of a girl who would want you.

Shit. Come to think of it - if I put it that way, that I dun think I'm exactly the most lovable man in the world, and how it would take a sort of sucker to love me, then it kindda makes God a sucker huh?

*waits for lightning to strike me down*

Oh man... I SO need to sleep. This is really terrible.