PMS

So there's this postcard I stuck against the glass of my wall cabinet, with a picture of a girl whose T-shirt reads "I've got PMS. What's YOUR excuse for being a jerk?"

Dammit, I think my PMS is back. Its really wierd. Things couldn't be going any better for me than in a while. I've got a project, a job of sorts that keep me busy and earning money. Ministry is looking pretty good right now, and I've got this praise and worship thing this sunday. And tho I still suck at DotA, at least I'm still getting into the winning team on a fair number of occasions. I'm on a mission to cut my butt down by two sizes so I can look good in a suit at my sister's wedding.

With so many things all falling into place, I can't explain my sleepless nights, my tirade last night (which I'm tempted to repeat here but decided not to), and just how my mood swings are just so extreme. Doesn't take much to trigger me from very incredible high to that mental state of abject despondence.

And not to mention anger. I'm having anger moods too. Doesn't take much to trigger an anger fit nowadays, esp at my parents. And when it does happen, I only need count to three before I scratch my head, wondering why the hell did it seem so big a deal at that instant.

It can't be stress, cos I'm in no way anywhere near being that busy. Loneliness? Well I've been lonely for a long long time now, so why the crazy thing only now? Depression? Ditto. Bored? Hahahahaha... To respond in such a manner to abject boredom suggests a subconscious that probably needs therapy.

I think I shall start channelling my crazy into something better. Starting monday I'm gonna pack my room and my wardrobe. Too bad I'll be out of the house for most of teh day from tmr onwards, otherwise I'd start right now.

As it is, I have to meet CK tmr regarding his company's brochure. I need to have my mind in a state where I can do some serious and good writing. If the standard of crap I churn out tomorrow is of the same standard as this, I can bet my ass I'm getting fired.

*gulp*

Dammit. Lately I'm even afraid to sleep, for fear of the dreams that assult me. Am I a train wreck or what?

Scary thing is, I look so normal outside. No one would have been able to tell that I'm half afraid I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown already. I catch myself almost blurting out things in mid-conversation that either don't make sense, or else blurt out what my mind's really obsessing about. Feels like I'm losing control of myself.

Ugh.

God forbid.