Thursday, May 04, 2006

Let's Talk About Love... Again. Grins.

Ever heard of the question “Can God make a rock so big that He can’t lift it up”? Or something to that effect? I used to get that all the time. And like the fool that was, I was actually seriously troubled by that question. In my understanding of God, He was omnipotent. So surely He could do it. Thus I replied that “He could – just that He chose not to”. I walked away, satisfied that I had defended God sufficiently – only to be called a moron. And now I see why.

As I grew older, and understood who God really was, I began to appreciate that even He has “limits”. There are many things He can’t do. He can’t do evil. He can’t hate what is good. He can’t be unjust. So of course not being able to create a stone that will make a fool of Him will go under that same list of things He can’t do. Not being able to do those things doesn’t limit Him, doesn’t mean He’s not omnipotent. Not being able to do those things are simply the result of Him being who He is.

And when I finally saw that, I was amazed at how I needed to re-think and re-look at my concept of God. I realized that my understanding of God needs to take on a new level of complexity, where I see things from more than just one dimension.

So naturally, when I’m thinking abt the greatest attribute of God, I need to apply that same paradigm shift.

Someone declared to me tonight that “love conquers all”. Although in context it was said in jest, I started wondering abt the truth of that statement. Is it true? Can the greatest attribute of God be counted upon to prevail against the greatest of setbacks and obstacles? So that I can sincerely use that as an apology when conventional wisdom tells me that differences whether in temperament, background, culture, education or even affluence can kill off a relationship? So that I can even justify to myself what the Bible teaches abt being unequally yoked, and hope that in due course love will prevail… that the love between the couple will somehow bring abt a resolution where the greater Love of God will triumph?

I used to be a believer.

Now I’m not so sure.

Examples of love conquering all are few and far between, measured up against the myriad of examples that chronicle the doomed attempt at love between such different parties. It would seem more like a special dispensation of grace from God that allows these extraordinary examples to exist on earth, almost as a reminder that there is a greater love out there than what we mere mortals are capable of. Otherwise, love itself, is also subject to wisdom and reason.

The grounds for expecting that love is capable of failure under certain circumstances is thus not unreasonable, nor does it lessen the power of love. It should not diminish the romance and idealism of it either. It ought to enhance it, knowing that in actuality there really isn’t a clash at all between the heart and the mind. They both have an equally important part to play, so that love can be whole and complete, not lacking in anything.

“Love conquers all”, so often something we like to chant as a mantra, in this sense becomes like the question of God and the rock. It is guilty of a deliberate immaturity that avoids the tough questions that genuine love will have to address. And in that sense, it is also guilty of blaspheming what love really is, a blasphemy against God Himself, who is Love. Love is hard work. It is about being able to put everyone above self. It is about long cold nights spent thinking of what it expects and entails. It is about making the tough decisions and doing what is right. And love needs to be properly dignified with the weighted considerations that allows what we hold the dearest to our hearts to be exposed to the test of scrutiny, to be tried and not found wanting.

Only then can we honestly look at ourselves and be able to love unreservedly and unabashedly.

And guess what – if you ever find someone who can walk beside you and stand up to such a test, treasure him or her. Because such a love is really one-in-a-billion.

So think carefully, the next time you think you have what it takes to love, and to commit to someone.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Learning Love takes a lifetime :) Sometimes love is also daring to give the apple of your eye your carefully measured love :p

Anonymous said...

Hmm...

It is about being able to put everyone above self.

Isn't that just a tad unbiblical, with reference to the two commandments Jesus spoke of?

- AnonX

p.s. and sure as hell doesn't work if you try to put everyone above self. It's hard enough to do so for God alone, much less a whole world (or just a church) of human beings. :D

Vanion said...

Yeah sure, give her some sweet love, murky up the waters... then what?

And well, love is hard work, remember? I think as a general rule, putting ourselves before others runs contrary to the principle that love is always other-person centered, instead of self. The whole of 1 Cor 13 is basically abt putting the interests of others above self.

And I guess it was for that reason Jesus could pray on the cross "Father forgive them, for they know what what they do."

Anonymous said...

Ah, something close to my heart and nod nod...agree

C

Anonymous said...

If you always put somebody else above you, then you cease to live for yourself. What happens when that person leaves your life, what will you do then? What direction is there? Hence I believe the most we should go is to put others on par with ourself. God should be the only one above ourselves.

Of course theory is always easier than the practical.

-AnonX

Vanion said...

Well, when we put Christ first, then we already put paid to living for ourselves... If Christ's example is to lay down his life so that others might live, then that is our cue to do the same.

What happens when that person leaves our life? Well, there's still Christ.

The practical is always harder, but the theory must make sense first... otherwise the practical never will.

Anonymous said...

Question on BGR: In our attempt to love like Christ, we love out of ourselves- independent of the object of our affection to a certain extent (i.e. whether that person is worth it or not). So when that relationship is broken, where does that leave love? The one who truly loved knows that it is not possible to cease loving, so now what?

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