Let's Talk Abt Love... Yet Again. Grins.

I had a conversation today that went something like this –

Her: Well, I guess love is blind then.
Me: Hey, I’m counting on love to be blind, actually. Only way I’ll get a girl to fall for me.
Her: Honestly, if I weren’t attached, I might just end up falling for you.

Hehz… my ego trip of the day. Bless that girl’s heart, willing to risk the wrath of God by telling me a lie like that, just to make me feel better.

Just wanted to have something good to say abt my day.

There’s more. Grins.

I actually had a really good time this evening.

I went back to CK’s cell. I always have this very strong urge to beg off before I drag myself there, but I inevitably end up having a very good time there everytime. So on my way back I started to think abt my other cell group, and how I curiously have exactly the opposite experience. I go there without any need for urging, but I inevitably end up feeling more tired after cell than I do before. And ironically, both cell groups’ bible study has been pretty sterile for some time now.

CK’s cell group’s bible study is so murky and disorganized, I’ve seen spontaneous coffee-shop table talk abt the bible with more intent and purpose. Weiqi’s cell group, on the other hand, tends to fall into the opposite extreme, being so caught up with getting the right answers across, that I feel like I’m attending lessons on menstrual biology and being asked to apply it in my own life as a male specimen of the human race.

So what makes me tick inside CK’s cell?

I remember Henry sharing with me more than once, that the kind of relational giving that is so evident in CK’s cell is the legacy of Wanxian. How she modeled for the whole cell group what it means to give selflessly at the expense of self, to love those around her with the love of Christ. Just talk to Ann about cell group for 15 minutes, and I’ll bet my life that she’ll share with you the testimony of how Wanxian was the one who showed her that Christ’s love is real. I used to sit there and marvel at Ann’s recounting… asking myself (for all the concern that I think I’m exerting myself to show to those I care for) whom do I know who will be able to testify to others that I have similarly been Christ’s ambassador of love to them. And I am humbled by just far off the mark I am, when it comes to loving people the way Christ would have wanted me to.

1 Cor 13:7 – “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Love is patient, love is kind... so the passage starts. But if it does not “always hope” nor “always persevere”, then I suppose it might as well not have been kind nor patient to begin with. I dread to think of the people in my life that I have lost my faith in through impatience or repeated disappointments… telling myself how he or she isn’t worth my time and I shd move on and engage my time more efficiently and fruitfully. (After all, we are called to be good stewards of the time God gave us, so I convince myself.) And even though I think in that instance I had a legitimate justification for ignoring him, Jackson actually does come to mind.

If Wanxian had decided to move on and leave Ann to her obstinate refusal to listen to counsel, Ann would not be around in church today. And there would have been no legacy in CK’s cell.

You know, anybody who comes into Weiqi’s cell group with a checklist of what a cell group ought to have and the standard it ought to measure up to, the cell will have no problem passing the review. Yet somehow I suspect that CK’s cell group will win hands-down if both cells were asked to provide testimonies of how their cell group has been a pillar of strength to them in their times of need… emotionally, spiritually, and especially practically.

And the lesson I learnt from this… is a brand new appreciation of how cheap talk really is. All of us at Weiqi’s cell spoke of how we think we want to see more commitment taking place, so that we can grow deeper and share more openly. We all could give very concrete examples of what we think a good cell group should be. Yet when asked to state our commitment, everyone of us gave the most generic answers we could think of, to beg off having to pay the price. Our core group within the cell came up with a lot of good ideas of the things we need to do in order to improve the cell… yet nobody was willing to offer more of his or her own time – we sit there hoping someone else will volunteer their time… and when no one does, we think of arrowing someone outside of the core group to do the dirty work.

I turn to Henry and Bernice, and I see two people who stick to their principles, and walk their talk. They don’t talk big. They delight in the very simple and basic. But they match it up with their full commitment. I’ve never once heard them begrudge someone else for not offering their time, saying something like “If only he’ll be less involved in this and that, he’ll have plenty of time to serve and help out in this.” Instead, they quietly set out to just do the best they can, and model what servanthood should look like. Which is why I am always so humbled whenever I serve beside the two of them.

Identifying what’s wrong and pointing out who or what’s to blame for it is really the cheapest gift Christians have today. I know. I’ve used that ‘gift’ often enough. And maybe that’s why I’m starting to grow a deeper appreciation for people around me who just quietly do the best that they can, and leave the big talk to others.

After all, that’s what servants do, isn’t it?