Twists

Every year that passes, I see more and more the significance of praising God for being unchanging. Each passing year, I see just how transient anything can be… For all that I bitch and moan abt my life going nowhere and being stagnant, the amount of change in my life in the past year alone, has been staggering. Looking at the changes around me as well, and I am amazed at how fast everything can change. Some people got together, others broke up, yet even more got married… Britain changed a new PM, my church Second Service changed a new pastor, and Manchester United have bought a whole new team!!!

Hehz…

But seriously… looking back on the past year, I find that the only other time God has been this real to me, was when I lost just about everything I had, and experienced the reality of God being my all in all. This time round, I look back on all the change I see, and I experience as a tiny epiphany, how unchanging God is… how comforting that can be, and how its something I praise Him for. Change can be such a scary thing… uncertainty always brings insecurity… I finally appreciate why I sing that God is my anchor.

How apt too, that at this point in time, my cell group is covering the book of Ecclesiastes, waxing eloquently about how transient life is, and how inconsequential everything in life actually works out to be. Makes me think of the song Henry introduced to me, “When Its All Said And Done.”

I remember one night doing my quiet time and listening to this song…. And breaking down in my room as I prayed for God to take away my desire for such transient things. After my spectacular failure in life, the urge to make up for lost time very naturally translated into the race to hoard the earthly and material possessions that the world uses to benchmark one’s life – money, career, family, accomplishments…

And that night when God took that song and just jammed it down my throat and into my heart, I broke down because I felt His rebuke to me, chastising me for the way my heart had become. I was bitter, and eager to prove all those who wrote me off to be wrong… I wanted to earn back all that I lost, and more, so I can shove it in their faces. God rammed a different message down my face that night.

Looking back now… I am not sure how I am different. But that song continues to remain a favorite with me. It reminds me to watch the things I do, to keep in mind the bigger picture of how my life should be…

A good reminder to have on this birthday, as I again take stock of what lies ahead of my life… as I make plans and as I re-assess the things I want in my life… If what really matters is whether or not I have done my best to live for Truth, then that needs to figure quite prominently…

St. Francis of Assisi once said, “Preach the gospel always… and if necessary, use words.”

My birthday prayer for this year is that I learn to preach the gospel with my life… that everywhere I go, I will love Jesus so much that people around me can see that I am His disciple. (Perhaps then, I can legitimately get away with saying that I’m doing relational evangelism instead. Grins.)

Big wish? Sounds lofty and pompous? It’s the same simple wish that I made as a kid.

Looks like despite all the things around me that are changing, what really needs to change still hasn’t.

*sigh*

I need to grow UP. Not grow OLD.

Help.

(Speaking of growing up, I just watched Transformers. L-O-V-E-D it!!!!)