Driving Myself... Nuts.

Have you ever wanted something so badly, but its just out of reach? So near and yet so far? Something you always knew was meant to be yours, but by that odd quirk of fate remains so desperately close but unavailable?

Sigh. Amongst other things i could think of, including my one special girl, is the fact that I'M STILL NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE ALONE!!!!!!! Pppffftt!!!

Parents still only let me drive under supervision. Sigh. How am I ever gonna pick up hot chicks if I keep taking TIBS buses? Or rather, they're now called SMRT buses. Alright, so a Toyota isn't exactly what pple use to pick up hot chicks, but they sure beat 167s.

Sigh.

Been feeling really blue. Not even sure if its work. Its actually a pretty cheery place. My two working partners are Malays. Mebbe not the brightest pple around, but they're good honest workers who gets the job done. And I'm actually having quite a lotta fun at the job every now and then.

So I dunno what's gotten me so down. Just a sense of longing, although I really dunno for what. I also feel I've turned a corner, but dunno for what. Its days like this that I feel like I'm a split persona, a man trying to understand a woman, even as I'm playing both parts.

Grins.

If I carry on writing more trash like these, mebbe those pple whom I dun recognize or know will stop reading my blog. Or they'll finally not be able to take it anymore, and come right out to scold me, thus exposing their identities. Muahahahahaha...

Shit. I'm damn lame. But I really meant what I said about feeling blue, and having that sense of longing again.

If only my parents would let me drive, dammit.

On a more serious note then, this job ends in a couple of days' time. Need to start looking for another of these, while at the same time trying to secure a more permanent job. Now's when I start learning to budget my money to not overspend. high time I start going to my parents everytime I fail to planproperly and overspend.

Weimin and Enhan are doing really really badly right now. Sigh. On the one hand I'm a lot closer to her, and if I didn't know Ham I'd tell her my own opinion is that they shd all it off. But cos of who I am in both their lives, I have to really try damned hard to keep neutral. Dammit. And Enhan is doing the typical guy thing of shutting everyone off, including me... so much for being there for him too. Sigh.

On the positive side, I just finished reading this book by Walter Trobisch called "I Married You". Turned out to be a really sweet book with a few pretty good points to chew on. Its all about true events he encountered on a trip to Africa to preach about marriage, family and sex. I guess having read so much about the rhetorics of a relationship, and so much that seems like pure academia, to read of these principals in a narrative or a novel, of how he actually had to put them across as he applied the priciples in the individual circumstances that came his way, was a pretty nice angle to read it from.

Its 1 in the morning. Back to work later.

Sigh.