Hey Look! Its a Blue Moon Easter!!

Today is Easter Sunday. That means 3 days ago, it was Good Friday.

The irony is, Good Friday’s not good.

Its actually really bad, because it’s the day that our Lord and Saviour died, so that sorry chaps like us can have any chance this side of eternity to live meaningful lives that reflect the glory of the Lord who died for the sake of even those who can’t understand what a delightful gift has been offered to us.

Today is Easter Sunday. Its supposed to be a joyful occasion, meant to be lived out in stark contrast to the mourning and grieving of Good Friday. Many people watch The Passion of Christ on Friday, to remind themselves of the pain that Jesus suffered for our sake. Many also fast over the weekend, in the spirit of pensive reflection and meditation of what the Lord’s suffering means for us.

So WHAT HAVE I DONE OVER THIS WEEKEND, AND WHAT HAVE I DONE TODAY?

N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

Really.

Really really.

Well… maybe not.

I’ve been thinking.

I chanced upon the picture above on POST SCRETS, which I haven’t really visited in a long long time.
At the same time, I’ve been visited by the theme of reconciliation this whole week, leading up to today. On so so so so so many occasions. From Weimin’s stories of Edie’s fallout with a colleague, to some of the stuff Hanley and I were talking about, to hearing that my friend’s divorce has come through, to conversations abt Ministry, to conversations abt Henry and Bernice, to new stories I hear abt church conflict, to even petty tales of my classmates and their feud with each other… etc. Its really been a bewilderingly overwhelming series of stories abt broken relationships/friendships, and reconciliation.

And in case you’re slow on the uptake, Easter is all about reconciliation. Its all abt the reconciliation between God and mankind, and the inherent call therefore for all man to be reconciled with each other.

But herein lies the root of my question: What does reconciliation with each other mean?

Of course, like I’ve shared with a couple of people just not too long ago, the one name that pops up like a red flag inside of me when I’m faced with the question of “who should I reconcile with” is… drumroll… my dearest and bestest-of-the-bestest friend, Andrew. (No, don’t worry. This isn’t another tirade against him.)

But yeah, he remains the one and only example of a person that I can’t bring myself to forgive. I’ve never known what it is like to not be able to forgive someone. I lived my whole life under the shelter of grace (pardon the irony), believing that as long as the Lord could see it somehow to forgive me, how could it be so difficult to ever forgive anyone? You just need to try.

But Andrew remains the one person I want to have absolutely nothing to do with, and the one person who leaves me puzzled why anyone else would bother with him. (Yes, it makes it twice as puzzling why my ex adores him so much.)

But today at service, I find myself therefore asking God – what does it mean when You want me to be reconciled with others? Are You simply asking that I no longer seethe with hatred and anger at the mere mention/thought of his name? Are You asking that I go and beg forgiveness for any wrong I’ve done him, then wait till the day I die for him to come and say that all’s well with us now? Are You expecting that everything should go back to the way it was, and we be chummy friends with each other?

I find myself at an utter loss, actually. God didn’t answer me (even though He’s supposed to have risen today.).

Aside from the Big A, I’ve also had too many friendships that were great while they lasted. Then the friendship took a beating along the way, and now things are just never the same again. Admittedly, a lot of it was my fault, but come one, he started it first! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) But ok, seriously… I’ve had so many relationships/friendships that have “gone bad”, that when I saw this picture on POSTSECRETS, I really took to it immediately.

So Lord, until You answer my questions, the best I can come up with is this:

Reconciliation is good, but its not for everyone. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to NOT reconcile. The best thing to do is to NOTHING the person.

In other words, I could certainly do well to stop bad-mouthing Andrew, I could certainly do well to not even use his name as an excuse to throw a dig or make a bad joke. But it would be foolish to go up to him the next time we meet, and try to see if we could start talking again. Sometimes when hurts run too deep, and the friendship that existed before isn’t deep enough to cover over the damage done, its better to just become strangers and walk away totally.

That basically means, as long as I can cut out Andrew TOTALLY from my life (i.e., refrain from even the petty digs at him), I’d be able to face God next Easter and say that I am reconciled. (Some purists won’t be satisfied with that. They will require me to go up to him anyway and get spat in the face before they’ll accept this option as good enough. Thank the Lord I’m not a purist, and don’t really care what they say.) Grins.

For my other friendships that have gone off tangent, I guess the only thing for me to do is to go back to treating them the way I used to, and see how they respond to that. Some I learn to keep at a distance because that’s the best way for the friendship to go. Others I pray somehow we can adapt the friendship to be meaningful once more.

And I guess that’s my Easter take-home for this year. I think I’m doing ok, for a change. By the plan that I’ve mapped out, I’m almost through reconciling with all around me. Oh, I still have abt two or three people I’m still not ok with, but hopefully I have the rest of the year to work on that.

Happy Easter, Lord.