One Of Those Nights

Yet another sleepless night where I wallow in self-pity and depression. Just finished a really intense session at Zhang Mu Shi's place today. From now till Sept, we'll be doing a series on worship that's in preparation for a mission trip that takes place then. We're to break into teams, and research on a selection of books in order to come up with the materials to form a curiculum fir the mission trip. Man, I dunno how much more of this I can handle. Really really not the very brainy type that takes in so much info very well. With DG, cell group (2 of them...), BS with Ham, scripture memory in church, Core Group & Levite Ministry matters to remember, that's just in church.

Dunno how I'm gonna juggle school and work also man. Sigh.

Was just thinking of what Syl said just now at supper, when she was bemoaning how she wishes she could just keep platonic relationships with guys... like how the only girls I have a close friendship with are those who see me as one with no possibility of extending it beyond a platonic relationship.

Was thinking just for how much longer is my luck gonna keep... for in the day I meet someone whom I develop a friendship for, and I later wish to take it one step further, its really gonna suck to realise that she sees me as nothing more than just friends. And knowing how I tend to get emotionally involved so easily, I think I'm just a ticking time bomb waiting to happen.

Sigh.

Can't sleep cos I keep dreaming of the number of ways I'm gonna crash my car on tuesday, and end up murdering my examiner in utter furstration... end up in jail for the rest of my life, and then bite my tongue and die a bloody mess inside Changi.

Hehz...

One of those nights.

Happy New year, guys. Grins.