My Routine Ramblings

What makes a good discipler? Was talking to Caleb till pretty late last night, as we sat up talking about church leadership. He had come down to cell yesterday to visit us, and to catch a feel of how things are over here. And I guess there was plenty of food for thought for him, as he sat through 2 hrs plus of our cell session. Esp so since our cell was supposed to be one of the most responsive cell.

We talked abt pple like Kangwei and Renji, Zhang Mu Shi, Benson, Enci tuanqi and their policy of isolation. I guess lots of us realise that something is gravely wrong when one of the church ministry has decided to cut themselves off so much from the rest, and the irony of each side at the same time preaching unity in the body in the context of their own surroundings. And yet we both seem so intent on focusing on the small picture that justifies our stand, while ignoring the big picture, where its so obvious that all is not well in the church...

Was telling Caleb that it seems that when we try to move to address the issue, Enci only miscontrues it an attempt to wrestle back political clout, and is thus met with a whle lot of suspicion and resistance and very little good comes out of trying. So obviously that aproach doesn't work. Yet I guess if we are the ones that see the problem, the onus is on us to try to resolve it. And at the moment, all we can do is pray.

Which brings us to the second issue, of how the Core Group used to fulfill that exact purpose, of getting everyone inside the group to be praying about some of the main issues the church is dealing with. And it really worked. It drew a whole lot us who were pretty scattered, into a more focused state of prayer, and then of service. Everyone was a lot more like-minded. Yet over time, the core group seems to have evolved yet again into a task force group, where we spend more time discussing issues than praying, and more time pressing agendas and programs rather than to fellowship. It really disturbing how insidiously this "corporate culture" creeps into the midst of any community, even when the starting intent was good.

I look at how much Kangwei is feeling the pressure from both our side to do the SMU project, and on Enci's side to commit to their fellowship, and I really feel that we've forgotten to love Kangwei already. It really really somehow pains me to see someone who starts out with a love for both God and His ministry end up as a pawn in the eagerness for us to push programs, as well as our plans and agendas. That day some of us agreed that we should talk to Kangwei, and get him to think through carefully what does he really have a burden to do in the next few years. If SMU really isn't on his agenda, then we will help him to say no to Zhang Mu Shi if need be. His well-being must take precedence over any ministry we are trying to launch.

Yet somehow, its been two weeks already since our discussion, and we've not found time, nor made time to talk to him.

Sigh.

It really can be so hard to love someone.

Caleb's pretty troubled by all these things that we see, and discussed. Yet in so many ways we are so helpless to do anything about it at all. There's a part of us that knows we leave it to God in prayer, the things that we are anxious about. Yet there's also that over-riding drive to do something, which I think is a very natural state one will be in if one really gives a damn at all. And I guess all I could say to him at the end of the day is to watch himself and not take on too much. Because this cosmic sugar-cane presser can really be such a terror sometimes, that turns the best of intentions. and the best of hearts, into a tired, worn-out and emotionally scarred victim.

Moving on to something lighter, yesterday some of the guys celebrated my birthday for me. Gabriel (SOOOO proud of him) actually went to buy me a Ryan Giggs miniature from the Reds Shop for me. It was a noble gesture for two reasons - that a Liverpool fan would actually step into a Reds Shop to buy Man Utd Memorabilia for me, and also that its a valiant attempt to stave off the bankruptcy that is almost guaranteed for the Red Devils. Hehz... Well, if not the practical value of the gift, I sure appreciated the sentiment behind it.

Grins.

I managed to get away from all their sabo-ing in church... even managed to buy dinner for some of them, something I actually really wanted to do. But then I still ended up with cream on my face. Literally. It started with an innocent suggestion to go eat ice-cream at Swenson's, since the birthday boy gets a free sundae. And that idea ended up with the whipped cream on my sundae appearing on my face, as well as on Der Biao's video phone.

Sigh. So much for dodging my birthday sabo.

Ah well. All in good fun I guess. Grins. I better not get an outbreak now on my face man... Muahahahahahaha... Imagine my horror if I suffered an outbreak... and bumped into Fiona!!!!

Ah well. If wishing made it so... I'd be a multi-millionaire then, and driving my girlfriend around in my Mini Cooper.

In the meantime, Bus 167 and my swing at the park shall suffice to take their place, I guess.

Grins.