Stupidity Has No Cure Indeed...

Sigh.

My left kneecap has been painful since the treetop walk on sat, after the gruelling number of steps I needed to take to get down the elevation that I walked 5km to get to... So I figured that not running much on sunday might be a good thing, since I was told by my sis in no uncertain terms that I shdn't be running.

Then today at lunch with my parents, I crashed into a glass wall in MOS Burgers at a half run, cos I really didn't see it there at all, for whatever reason. Bloody hell. Good thing it didn't break, otherwise it'll be even more embarrassing than it already was, what with the whole restaurant turning round after hearing the clatter I made, only to see me turn around with my dazed look. To make matters worse, I think I've quite badly hurt my right knee, since it bore the brunt of the impact. There's a throbbing pain even without moving it around, and of course a lot more pain when I actually stand up and walk around... On top of which, there's a bump now on my head where it crashed into the glass as well.

So here I now hobble around, having to rely on my left leg which is actually already in pain, simply cos the right leg hurts more. Gosh, how much more pathetic can I get, I wonder.

Just bought myself a new phone. Motorola V3. Its a gamble, really, since I've only had one previous experience with a Motorola phone, about 8 years ago, which was an absolute disaster. But so far its been a really cool phone. I'm lovin' it! Grins.

Tmr I’ll be going to Funan with Henry to buy Bernice’s surprise birthday present from Henry. I think he’s been really sweet, what with all his planning beforehand, and the amount of thought that he’s put into it. I think I’ve really enjoyed my friendship with him over the last two years, and my friendship with him and Berno have always been a very unique bond that is of such a rare quality amongst my other friends.

On sunday I led worship. Somehow I was again in a daze. I've moved on from the state of chronic panic when I'm on stage, to a state of lassitude. Its pretty scary actually. I seemed so detached from my surroundings, and what I was doing. Dunno what’s going on. I also forgot my specs, which left me squinting for the lyrics on my paper up there on the pulpit. Hehz... it was hilarious man... On hindsight, of course...

The message my Rev delivered was also a rather curious one. One of the most salient point for me (naturally) was when she cited the example of the spurned lover who refused to move on, but persisted in clinging on to that love that was not reciprocated. She raised the point about how such a person displays a total lack of wisdom in his action, and shd learn to move on and let go.

On one level it makes perfect sense, and good advice. And I know of a couple of girls listening in who would be glad to hear the pulpit say that out loud, and wishing the guys would hear it and learn from it. Yet of course on my part I was musing to myself how love’s nature is to always hope against hope. I mean, on the most obvious level, if God only chose to love those who won’t spurn his love, there would have been no cross, no crucifixion already. Isn’t it in the very nature and foundations of love itself to be true to the one it has given itself to? If I've fallen for a girl, how do I take back that love without making a hypocrite out of myself? If I can promise undying love to a girl when I’m wooing her or when I’m with her, how can that ever be taken back simply cos she spurned me or is no longer with me?

So isn’t there at least something to be commended about the guy who proves that he didn’t make a mockery of the word love when he professed it to the girl who rejected it?

I guess there’s room on the pulpit for common sense to be taught. And I guess it shd be taught. God knows (pun aside) how many people in the church itself could do with a healthy dose of common sense. Yet to be fair, there’s something about how there really seems to be no real solution to this problem of unrequited affection. It seems to hit a dead-end wherever one turns. To stay on and be true to one’s heart would be seen as a lack of maturity and rationale, while to turn away would be a betrayal of self. Mebbe that’s why so many choose to doom themselves into a life of either eternal solitude, pining for their heart’s desire rather than compromise themselves, or else choose to plunge into a lie, settling for someone who loves them instead of the one whom they love.

I’m also reading this book by Jonathan Coe, called “The House Of Sleep”. Naturally it’s a book about sleep – 4 people with sleeping disorders. Sunday Times declares that it is a wonderful bedtime novel. Go chew on the irony of that. Grins. But I really like the different perceptions that he managed to bring out through the 4 characters about their lives, their approach to sleep, and how it shapes the way they live. In a way sleep was actually the excuse to address the neurosis that each one of them has, which was a reflection of many things we all can find in ourselves. His writing is very easy to grasp, and makes for a pleasant read.

Which means the copy of Harry Potter I badgered Serene into giving me remains untouched. Hehz… Ah well. Thanks to Nut, I guess it can remain unread for a while longer. Stupid Brat.

Muahahahahaha…

My sis flies off to Shanghai tmr… erm… technically, tonight… for her wedding shoot. Sigh. When will I ever make that kindda money to do stupid things like that? Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Wait a minute… I’m already doing stupid things right now. The persistent throbbing pain in my right knee is testament to that fact.

=)