今天终于把 “天龙 八部” 和 “射鸼英雄传” 给看完了。心中不禁再次发出了一些的感叹。就如歌中里所描述的心情,每当我在看着一般的戏时,心头总是在问自己,与我思守一生的伴侣到底在哪儿。恨不得自己就是戏中里的男主角,就算再是受尽多少的艰苦,若能换得一位知己,也算是熬了过来,是值得的。
每次看到戏中的英雄好汉,各各都是死的死,伤的伤,也大概就只有男女主角两位能够终成眷属, 何等地异味着真情的可贵和难得啊!咳。而看着一部一部的戏里,他们能有一个圆满的结局,总是自叹不如,在问自己若找到一位那么值得我去执著的女子时,我是否会那么的全心全意付出我的一切去争取。
我向来做事的一个大毛病,就是我处事优柔寡断,总是不能肯定自己的决定,常常喜欢为自己布置一条后路。而感情这种事上,却更加是不能三心两意的了。一个值得去追的好女子,自然是有许多人在抢,又怎能轮到一个犹豫不决的人得到呢?但自己却从没勇气向她人示情,也就只能眼睁睁地预备自己这一生一个人过活了吧。
在这种无奈之下,才真正能够体会出歌中的心情。在生活里所得不到的欲望,却能够在戏里得到一时的解脱,一个暂时性的成全。“在别人的剧本演自己的缘份”,这句话还真有意思。不管是在戏里的剧本,或是将来看着自己心上人跟另一个男子的剧本,至少能够在自己的脑海里活出自己的缘分来。看着戏里有情人终成眷属时,还真为他们高兴。想必将来若不能与心上人在一起时,能看着她快乐,也应该就满足了。
而至于我呢... 我宁愿学习自足常乐,也不要因寂寞而随便找个伴。以此看来,我看我还是养狗算了吧...
I've been the king, I've been the clown. Now broken wings can't hold me down. I'm free again. The jester with the broken crown, it won't be me this time around to love in vain.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
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