Of Trials And Of Thanksgivings

Discovered belatedly someone called Janice, who has been writing columns for the now defunct STREATS for a few years, and had collected some of her writings into a book that's just been released, called "SPG - Single Picky Girl". And I've been utterly smitten with some of the stuff written in it. Naturally, its a book dedicated to musings on love and life, waxing eloquently on a lot of the issues that dating and single people face, both publicly and privately.

You can go read a sampling here - www.janice-wong.com

Anyway, these few days have been really morose times. Everyone around me seems to be pretty much down in the dumps, depressed, dejected, tired out from work, worn out from their relationships, generally depressed as always... you get the picture. And instead of the usual group huddle where we lament and pour out stories of our own martyrdom to each other, we've somehow more or less all been strangely keeping from each other. Or mebbe its just been me. Been shutting down and shutting out a little more than I do lately. (Oh by the way, the song "Jian Ai" is for JL, as promised. You'll get to hear it if I finally managed to load the blasted thing into angelfire, which apparently is down again. *fingers crossed*)

Even Xiying's blog is on the topic of worrying and fretting over much in life.

Makes me wonder if there are seasons to this kindda stuff. Some form of global karma that determines the emotional mood that we all experience. Or mebbe there really is meant to be some balance in the 'force'. So in some corner of the world someone now is unbearably happy and jubilant, so we all have to cut back on our own dosage of joy and geniality.

Or we could continue to blame it on the weather. Or flog our spiritual self for being so untrusting towards God, forsaking our hope in Him that ought to have made us glad and lifted us out of our gloom/doom. Or blame it on our lack of a fulfilling love life, that ought to have completed us and made us whole.

There's this one line in Janice's writing that really struck me. She wrote abt the how our partners are never meant to complete us - but just complement us. Our lives ought to find completion within our selves, and be independent of another human being in that aspect. What our partners shd be doing is to complement us, to walk beside us to the effect of making us better people.

Or mebbe its as someone told me today, that she's just going through a phase where she passes through a valley in her emotional life, and she's just biding her time till she sees sun again.

Or whatever else reasons there might be.

I'm just gonna take tonight, irregardless of what's been going on around me, within me and to me, and just take this night to count my blessings. For the things that I ought to have sat down to give thanks for but failed to, for the things that I believe if I give it due considerations I'd learn to appreciate what really transpired and be grateful for it, and for the things that I should note so that whether it be in the near or distant future, I'd learn to be thankful when I see how the gloom has resolved itself into something beautiful.

And after that, hang on tight and continue to bide my own time in my own seemingly endless valley of emotions, till the day I see the light again.