My Love Affair With Ally

I bought a set of Ally McBeal DVDs from Bangkok. I had forgotten how much I loved the show. And yet, looking at the show again… recollecting some of the sentiments that I had when I first watched it… it also brought on some new reactions of mine. For example, I remember when I first told Grace how I felt abt her almost 7 yrs ago, I did it with a letter, and I wanted her to watch an episode of Ally McBeal along with it, cos it expressed what back then I didn’t know how to frame into words, of the emotions that was going through my mind. I don’t really remember which episode it was, but I’m sure when I come across it I’ll remember it.

Ally McBeal always did romanticize the thoughts that continually haunt me. That at age thirty, I’d still find my life to be headed in no direction, except further and further away from what I had as a kid envisioned myself to be headed towards. And so it was with bittersweet feelings that I revisit the sentiments the show brought on. It remains the only comedy/drama series that invariably brings a tear to my eye by the end of the episode, something which made me so drawn to the series more than how funny it also was.

Another reason why I loved the show, I only realized on retrospect. They’re really big on theme songs. Every episode would feature Vonda Shepherd singing a different song, that would invariably suit the tone of what was going on. Each character was also very much into theme songs, which turns out has also become a bit of an obsession of mine. The songs on this blog aren’t there because of a whim. They represent either the things on my mind, or else the mood I’m going through. As they change, my song changes.

Tonight I came home and decided to watch through 4 episodes of the show, that took me through a discussion of believing in Santa Claus and fairy-tales of happily ever afters, to how people can change everything about them without ever really being able to change who they actually are, to how and why a baby can provoke such intense emotions in a person. I also realized I’ve missed Richard’s trademark “Fishism”, his nonsense philosophy that masks his fears, yet at one level something that actually works for him.

Naturally, I find myself asking which character would best personify me, and I think it turned out to be the emasculated office nerd, Billy – Ally’s ex. It’s a sad day when you realize you’d want to be the oddball John “the Biscuit” Cage, but end up being the office wuss. (I totally blame Paul, by the way…) But maybe that explains why the episode I love more than any other would be the one where Billy dies. Yes, and that in turn explains why I bought Season Three instead of Season One. Because I know the episode where he dies is in Season Three. And yes, I watched that episode right after I got back home, which was probably what triggered my post abt funerals and being remembered.

I really love the show. Its quirky, it somehow is able to express the many things I’m paranoid abt in ways that I would never be able to put down so succinctly, it makes me laugh and cry which in turns makes me feel I’m alive, and of course they place a very high premium on using songs to embody a mood or theme.

I just had my first friend ask me if I have a date for Valentines’ Day, and if we should have a Bachelors’ Night out. Dammit. Its that time of the year again. I told him I’d wait for a date. Anything on that night is better than being mistaken on the street for being the latest recruit of the Gay Losers’ Club. My own gay partner is on the verge of once again re-kindling old flames on a romantic tour of Bangkok, while at the same time struggling to be honest with a potential… erm… “Potential”(do they even have a term for it???). Of course, just to be absolutely safe, he even took the initiative to race after a girl to ask for her number, something that I’m so proud of him for.

Me? I’m thinking if I sit at home long enough, eventually someone’s gonna ask me out on a date.

Hehz…

If not, I’ll spend my romantic evening with Ally.

Grins.

Oh yeah, I heard some good news after coming back, which put me in a good mood. I might even be getting a treat out of it. So a happy song tonight it is.

Tee hee.