Who Says I Talk Too Much?????

So I sat down today to study at SMU, as I have for the past few days. I was just appreciating the silence of the library today, which for some strange reason was very quiet. So I had a really good time there. But as luck would have it, the minute I tell myself its gotta be my lucky day, along comes a group of hyenas (read: girls), who felt the need for the whole universe to hear what they were talking about.

Right there and then the thought came into my head rather indignantly “And them buffoons have the cheek to say I talk to much. Wait till they meet these geniuses.”

And in honor of that, I have compiled a list of things that I perhaps should have said, but didn’t. (Well technically, after putting it down here its been said… But of course, each comment is for someone particular, and I’m not naming names here. So… Grins.) Of course, the list contains plenty that I didn’t say, which turned out to be the right decision to make too. In other words, I actually either didn’t have the guts to say it, or else was lucky to not have blabbed out something that would get me in a lot of trouble.

To People In Church:
· Everytime I see you in church, I rehearse carefully what to say to you, then walk over. But by the time I get to you, its been more or less reduced to a smile and a wave.
· I wanted to ask for your name and apologize for having taken so long to do so, I found it too embarrassing and so continued to ignore you.
· I noticed you for a long long time already, and always thought we could have been good friends. But it would feel really awkward to just go up to you and ask to be friends without the right context to do so.
· What you’re wearing to church is a little inappropriate, don’t you think?
· Is it too much to ask that you show up ten minutes before service starts? In more than one year since I started counting, you’ve never been on time.
· You know, when you appear so laid back during sermon and look so disinterested during worship, its hard for me to get into the right frame to worship when I sit beside you.
· I think we’ve worshipped in this church together for more than 5 yrs already, but there still seems to be a ten foot wall between us.
· I see you every week in service. We laughed, we joked, we even served together. Yet until now all I really know about you is your name and your gender.
· Thanks for always being so responsive when I lead worship. Its not an ego thing, but looking at you gives me confidence, and settles me down for the rest of the time I’m up there.
· I know this sounds really dumb and thick skinned, but I never did dare to talk to you more because you’re female and I was afraid you might get the wrong idea.
· Not that I mind, but I never did know where you got the idea that you and I are really good friends, and know each other really well. At least, I don’t think I know you that well.
· Oops. I never knew he was your brother.
· Go away!!!
· Prayer requests? Pls pray for me, cos right now I’m having a really hard time believing that God loves me, or that He’s even real.
· I really don’t like him. I just couldn’t tell you at first because it would be wrong to speak derogatorily of others, esp in church.
· I actually really don’t feel like going for your wedding, but was afraid you’d take it the wrong way.
· I actually would love to be friends with you. But right now I really don’t know what else to say to you to keep the conversation going.

Friends Closer To Me:
· Sometimes it seems we have an almost telepathic understanding of each other. But right now you’re like someone I don’t recognize, and wouldn’t even want to know.
· I once cried when I dreamt that you died.
· Its very hard for me sometimes, when our familiarity causes you to assume that we share the same opinion on some issues. I wish you’d check with me.
· I suddenly feel very lonely when I’m with you, when you keep talking abt your new friends.
· Hey, I’d give you my kidney too, if the Govt allowed it!!!
· I know that always tell me you value me as a friend. But I think we both realize that deep down inside, both myself and my opinions are not held in high regard or esteem. And I guess to me it makes the friendship hypocritical at worse, superficial at best. I mean, its hard to really be friends with someone whom you don’t respect and hold in regard.
· You know how you’re keeping something from me and pretending nothing’s going on? Its actually very obvious. I know. Because I can tell that you know when I do the same thing to you.
· One thing I’ve never learnt to say properly is “I’m sorry”, and “Thank You”. But I really am, and I really do.
· Its embarrassing to let you know just how much your opinion matters to me.
· You know, we used to have our silly and temperamental arguments. It sounds stupid, but I wonder if its really a good sign that we don’t do that anymore.
· It disturbs me when you hang out with people I don’t like, and it upsets me when you don’t like the people I hang out with.
· You know, between you and that other close friend of mine, I’m afraid I rank you lower in terms of priority. And I’m sorry. But someone’s gotta be second.
· I once fancied us together. But when we were talking and the topic came up, you totally trashed the idea while I just held my peace. The rest is history.
· I feel like letting us drift apart a little for just a while. I feel like I need some space.
· You know, I’m always the one who’s calling or messaging you. Otherwise I just don’t hear from you all week. What’s up man? Are we still friends?
· I actually don’t think your relationship is going to work out, but you’re probably not going to listen anyway. My sis was right!!!
· You wanna just one day go with me to play in the rain and get soaking wet? I miss the days when we did that.
· I actually know already, but if you keep pretending like nothing’s going on, then I guess we can just keep talking superficialities.
· I can’t remember the last time I caught a movie with you.
· Erm, you still owe me some money, actually.
· I was kindda hoping you’d insist. I like to make a friend insist just so that I don’t feel like I’m imposing, or placing an unwanted obligation on someone.
· Just shut up, damn it.
· You know, this seems to be one of those days when our signals just don’t seem to cross, and we don’t get each other. It feels damn silly to pretend to be chummy when we obviously don’t seem to be connecting.

My Fiona:
· I secretly love it when people mention you and me, no matter how much I make a joke of it.
· I actually wrote you a hundred cards telling you how I felt towards you, then tore them all up and wrote another one saying “Praying For You”.
· I resolved many times to move on from you, esp if I don’t plan to do anything about it. But one look at you and my resolve disappears,
· I did a google on you before, just to see if anything shows up.
· Ever noticed that I hardly ever say no to you?
· I don’t get it. Why you?????
· I’ve pictured so many scenarios till I lost count, of how I could tell you how I felt. But every one of them starts with you being the first to say you feel the same.
· Pls tell me you don’t know anything.
· Pls tell me you actually know.
· My biggest fear? You coming up to tell me you fell for someone… and it isn’t me.
· Sometimes, I can’t stand you.
· You know how I was having a really down-in-the-dumps day back then? I was on cloud nine after you called me, out of the blue.

My Parents:
· Eventually, you’re gonna have to make up your mind whether or not I’m grown up already.
· You do realize that most of the things I do such as keeping things from you, I actually picked up from you?
· Thanks guys. Now I know why I think getting married takes either incredible guts or unbelievable stupidity.
· I don’t mind doing things for you guys. But I plan my schedule for the day, so you gotta tell me these things in advance!!!!!
· Someday I swear I’m either sending you to the Old Folks’ Home, or checking in to stay there myself. Ugh!!
· Thanks for being so sweet. I know its weird to tell you guys that, but… erm… yeah.
· Not a single day has gone by in 27 years when I don’t hear you complaining about something. You know how hard it is to overcome such brainwashing and start being a person who gives thanks? (I mean, just check out the rest of this blog man!!!)
· I know you didn’t really approve of Grace. But if I ever find another girl, I don’t really trust you guys to be honest abt it this time. And that sucks.
· You know, I see other parents who are friends with the friends of their kids. I’ve never heard you bother abt any of my friends, or at least think well of them.

Okie, that’s more than enough stuff for tonight. Just a sample of the many many many many many things that I’ve kept my mouth shut on. So don’t you ever dare say again that I’m a big mouth who talks too much!!!