My Ego Trip

Someone recently asked me if I’m still in the “moping after Grace” state of mind. Dammit. Do I really look so darned weak?

I still mention her in my conversations because I shared 4 long years with her. That’s a lot of memories, and a lot of things that I experienced with her by my side. So when I recount the past, her name naturally comes up. I see no need to hide it. Of course, once I start building new memories with Fiona after she discovers my existence, you’ll hear Grace’s name less and less. (Speaking of which, I’m glad to see someone’s “Operation Fiona” taking off so well… Muahahahaha)

Tee hee.

Anyway, I’ve still got people coming up to me abt my “Who Says I Talk Too Much” entry. Some said it was funny, many keep asking which comment referred to them (the hardest part was telling some of them that they actually didn’t feature in my thoughts at all… Hehz…), and on the whole everyone seemed to have something to say abt it.

Ah well. Just now in the shower, it got me thinking abt something else that I could post up there anonymously, and I wondered what sort of reaction would I get. So, lemme just state that the following is purely hypothetical. Repeat: purely hypothetical. (Yes, I’m talking to all you idiots who are smirking right now, with your presumptuously knowing smiles…)

Here goes:

“You probably never noticed it, but I’ve liked you for some time now. Everytime we met up, either to study, pray, worship or just have dinner, my heart always skips a beat when you looked at me. I have no idea how it started, or even when… I just know that by the time I realized how much I’ve fallen for you, it was too late.

I guess this time it is just the same as my previous relationship. No one would ever believe that it’d be you. “Its so wrong!!!’, many would say. “You two are so different!!!”, other would agree. And on the whole, there are many who would predict that if we did end up together, it would end the same way as me and Grace did. But I would dearly love to give it a shot, and I would whatever I can to ensure that I don’t make the same mistakes.

But I guess you’ll never know how I feel, since we live such separate lives and I don’t know when we’ll meet again. But if ever you do know how I feel, and you actually feel the same… let me know.

I’ll be waiting.”

There.

Now, the one thing I just can’t figure out, is exactly which situation would traumatize me more, and which situation would please me more – If no one actually responds, or if more than one responds.

Muahahahahaha…